WTF, George R.R. Martin?!

Two precursors to the main content of this blog, my thoughts on the series finale of Game of Thrones: one, MAJOR SPOILER ALERT. I know how touchy fans can get over spoilers so if you're one of those people, read no further. Second, if you know nothing about Game of Thrones (you know nothin' Jon Snow!) like that parenthesized reference, for example, this post will make less sense to you than listening to an alphabet recited backwards in a foreign language. So, if you aren't familiar, you should probably spend the time it would take to read this blog doing something else. Literally, anything else. Can't think of anything? Some suggestions: clean the floor under your fridge, or organize its contents and chuck the expired stuff. Can't think of the last time you did those things? Yeah, that's what I thought. Get crackin', or that ten-year-old salad dressing growing mold in the back of your fridge will make someone sick.

Okay, you've been warned. Spoilers start below this line.

So, Jon Snow is dead. Jon. Snow. Come ON, George R.R. Martin! Man, that guy doesn't just break our hearts like your first significant other in your teenage years (trust me all you adolescents reading this, that's just the beginning), he really reaches in there slowly and gruesomely removes your heart through your chest and then does a Mexican hat dance around it while laughing maniacally. That is one of his major skills as a storyteller. It's quite vicious actually; he makes us love his characters as if they were real, and then he rips them our of our lives in the most horrific ways imaginable. Thankfully, I knew from the get go about the upcoming demise of so many beloved Starks in The Red Wedding episode. No one's death shocked me after that, but for some naive reason, I figured our beloved Jon was immune. He was too good, too pure, too wonderful, too compassionate and far too sexy to ever die! George Martin wouldn't be THAT evil, would he?! Oh yes, it seems, he would. I guess he likes to make people cry. Watching his death was sadder than watching those depressing, homeless pet videos featuring Sarah McLaughlin.

Jon Snow after a bunch of assholes stabbed him in the gut. R.I.P., I love you.

 George R.R. Martin also makes us put up with the scummiest, most twisted villains imaginable for far, too long (Ramsay Bolton, anyone?!). At least Joffrey got it.

The other skill at which Mr. Martin excels is making us pity those we never thought pitiable. If you told me that I would EVER feel bad for Cersei I'd never have believed you until the season 5 finale. I mean, she CRIED and had to walk naked back to the castle while people called her a slut and other variations of that word while throwing food at her. Come ON, you can't not feel bad for her! Same goes for Theon Greyjoy, now Reek- sorry, but if someone gets tortured in that way, even if they are your worst enemy, you feel bad for them. 

Anyway, after all the emotional bullshit watching Game of Thrones has put me through, I've decided to throw in the towel and root for the White Walkers. I hope that their first victims are the High Sparrows and the members of the Night's Watch. That I'd like to see.

Rootin for you guys!

Songs That Sound Like Other Songs

These days, nothing that comes on the radio sounds "new" to me. Nothing is exceptionally mind-blowingly (yes, I just created that word) original (except for Ed Sheeran, he is the god of music). I'm not bashing pop artists of today by any means. I still listen to those stations baring generic tune after generic tune and I acknowledge that there are only so many notes in the scale, only so many chord progressions, and so songs are often bound to sound similar.

However, many artists are protective of their work, and get at each others' throats metaphorically for "copying" their songs. For example, click here for a long list of songs that are essentially the same. Robin Thicke recently got into some trouble for his song "Blurred Lines" which sounds exactly like Marvin Gaye's "Got To Give It Up," and he actually got in trouble for it. I'm fine with that because "Blurred Lines" is pretty terrible. If by some cosmic freak incident Robin Thicke is reading this, no offense, man.

Anyways, recently I discovered how much of a genius Taylor Swift truly is. While listening to her new album, I realized that two of the tracks, "Bad Blood" and "Wonderland," sound the exact same during certain parts. She has discovered how to copy other music! Just copy your own and tweak it slightly! I mean what is she going to do, sue herself? Yeah, didn't think so. Anyway, listen for yourself.

Age Of Ultron Doesn't Live up to Avengers Potential

I just want to kick off my review of The Avengers: Age of Ultron with a question to my readers. Am I the only one who is sick of the whole Russian/Eastern European villain thing? Like, I feel very over it. Let's try to diversify with the villains at this point, filmmakers! I guess some of them have branched out and decided to make those from the Middle East the enemy but still... When will we see the bad-ass villain from Greenland?

There were aspects of the relationships in the movie that simply didn't seem to contribute anything at all to the plot. The odd romantic moments between Marc Ruffalo and Scarlett Johansson were awkward to say the least, and, let's admit it, a pairing that would just never happen in a billion years.

In regards to the plot, it just wasn't as original as I'd hoped it would be. Artificial intelligence trying to take over the world? Hasn't that been done countless times, even recently? Then again, I suppose pretty much everything has been done already at this point.

I'm not going to sit here and point out flaw after flaw. The 2 hour and 21 minutes run time hardly felt long at all, which is really saying something. I was so engaged during the action scenes and the personal interactions amongst the characters that my short attention span didn't really get to me. Even the cheesy one-liners that were a little too corny for my taste didn't bother me. Plus, Thor is really attractive so that in itself made the movie for me.

Yum.