Musical Border Crossing

Every musician must be jealous of Taylor Swift's ability to transcend musical genres. Unlike other artists and bands, she does not fit neatly into one category. For example, you can hear her song "Love Story" on a country radio station and then tune to a rock station which will be playing the same song, albeit a different version. All they do is nix the fiddle and add an electric guitar solo and BAM, her music transforms from country bumpkin anthems to pre-teen pop. It's a feat of magic Houdini himself could not perform.

No matter what style her song actually is, seemingly every radio station picks it up. Her most recent tune, "We Are Never Getting Back Together," or whatever it is called, sounds more along the lines of a Kesha or Katy Perry song, yet due to her well-established position as a country singer, country radio stations play it incessantly. This is a bit absurd, since I can't think of any other singer/band to which this phenomenon applies. You don't see remixes of Metallica songs where they add a banjo to make it acceptable for country radio. I'm not sure I would want to hear that song to be honest.

Actually I lied. While writing this, my mind came up with an example. The Band Perry, a band who also specializes in country twang, gets their songs made over with injections of electric guitar solos to make their appearance on pop radio acceptable. So, I suppose it just applies to country artists.

Marijuana: Not Worth the High

Marijuana users, irked by new laws banning or severely limiting the distribution and use of medical marijuana, list a variety of reasons defending the leafy substance. They claim that the medical benefits associated with marijuana far outweigh any potential health risks. However, the face of the debate is changing with the publication of studies revolving around the topic.

Recently, a study conducted in New Zealand revealed that long term marijuana users had lower IQs later in life than those who seldom or never used the substance. The authors of that particular study, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academies of Science, concluded that: "Collectively, these findings are consistent with speculations that cannabis use in adolescence, when the brain is undergoing critical development, may have neurotoxic effects." 

These findings come at a time when marijuana use has skyrocketed among teens in the U.S. One of the pro-marijauana arguments is that the substance is not addictive in the way that other drugs are. However, according to an article in the LA Times, "neuroscience, animal studies, clinical reports of withdrawal in humans and epidemiology all show that marijuana is potentially addictive." 

Medical marijuana advocates do make some claims about the benefits of the plant which are backed by science. Studies show that it successfully treats neuropathic pain, increases appetite and reduces nausea in AIDS and cancer patients. However, the theory that it is a good treatment for glaucoma was debunked by a study which showed that the amount needed to do so far from makes it a viable option in place of other options. 

Those who suffer mental illness often turn to medical marijuana as treatment, but it was recently shown to cause these problems, not alleviate them. As stated in the aforementioned LA Times article, marijuana is linked to long-term psychiatric problems such as depression, anxiety and psychosis. "Marijuana often is regarded as a 'soft drug' with few harmful effects," says Dr. Joseph M. Pierre, co-chief of the Schizophrenia Treatment Unit at the Department of Veterans Affairs' West Los Angeles Healthcare Center. 

With new studies pointing out the negative effects of the leafy substance seeming to pop up daily, it is becoming more and more clear that it is far more detrimental than previously thought. 

Another Hammer Letdown

I want to thank the Hammer museum from the deepest depths of my heart for instilling in me the irrational fear of having a crazed dry cleaner employee suffocate me with plastic wrap and shove me into the back of his van as part of a killing rampage. I am serious as a heart attack- that was the topic of a music video screened last night. I wrongly assumed after the success of the first Flux film series which I attended around a month ago that the second part, screened last night, would be just as entertaining and uplifting. I'm not entirely sure what the opposite of uplifting is, I suppose "down bringing" but that is not a verb. My tardiness almost caused me to miss out on entry to the film series, and in retrospect that would have been exponentially better than sitting through it. But, you know what they say about hindsight.

The man who introduced the series warned us that this particular collection of short films were dark, but that did not really sink in until the first video ended. The first was a music video for a strange German band and seemed like the kind of thing someone would dream about after taking a combination of illegal drugs. Let me attempt to clearly summarize: a man and a little girl dismount a horse in the middle of the desert. The old man sets the little girl's doll on fire while telling her in a language that I did not recognize in the slightest that no one will ever help her in this life. Then she gets kidnapped by some weird desert clan people who brainwash her and brand her, she grows up and tries to avenge herself by killing the old man who killed her doll. But when she confronts him, he stabs her eye with a sword leaving her with a bloody eye socket. Then she fights a dragon with multiple heads and dies. Yes, seriously.

The second video I hoped would be more cheerful since it was a Norah Jones song music video, and she  tends to sing about cheery topics. But no, it seemed that the plot line of the lyrics were she beat a woman with an oar and then tied her body to a rock and tossed it into a lake. Nice.

During the worst one I had to stare at my knees after awhile as I was so disturbed. It was a music video for a song by a band called Liars, and the one that I refer to in my opening sentence to this blog. A lunatic old man who works in a dry cleaner goes home and changes and spends the night driving around going on a killing spree where he murders a ton of people in ways that disturbed me to new levels. Nice.

I could go on. But I will spare you. The only video I enjoyed was the music video for a song called "Hollywood" by RAC. It was a really nice song and I am going to add it to my workout playlist.

SuperShuttle- Super Safe!

It's good to know that when you ride with SuperShuttle, you are in the care of some of the most secure shared van-drivers' hands. Do you detect sarcasm? Because you should. I cannot pinpoint which aspect of the ride from LAX to my apartment I loved the best. Let's mull it over together, shall we?

1) Ironically, despite the overwhelming presence of signs urging van riders to buckle up for safety, there was no buckle for my seatbelt. Since it was the last available space, this inconvenience forced me to do without for the duration of the journey. Safety strike 1, SuperShuttle...

2) The driver of the van managed the Los Angeles roads worse than an old woman with cataracts in both eyes declared legally blind by multiple eye doctors. He constantly fiddled around with the GPS attempting to determine his route. This would not have been an issue had he done so prior to driving, yet he was looking down at it and typing in addresses while fighting the infamous LA traffic. Doesn't put passengers in the best frame of mind. Even more assuring was the fact that riders had to inform the driver when the light turned green.

Perhaps the most depressing aspect of the ride was that I hardly cared how long the trip took because I had absolutely nothing better to do. It is sad when you use a SuperShuttle ride to unclog excess time from the arteries of life. 

The Nostrilator!

I have noticed that I possess a special power. I'm not sure if it has any promising potential or if anyone from Marvel could create a superhero based on my ability. Nonetheless, I noticed I have a bizarrely-acute sense of smell when it comes to perfume/scented toiletry identification. Specific, I know, but it is true. Today en route to the bus stop I found myself behind a woman walking extremely slowly in front of me. While attempting to pass her, I caught a whiff of her shampoo and distinctly identified it as Pantene. Erie. It is like I have a sixth sense. Actually, it is more like a fifth-and-a-half sense, more appropriately defined as a subcategory of the sense of smell.

This was somewhat revelatory for me. I have always been skilled at detecting the brand of perfume a woman uses and immediately know when a man has doused himself in Axe brand body spray. For some reason I negatively associate Axe with dirty men. Not dirty as in creepy middle school teachers with 70s mustaches that prey on their young students. I mean dirty in a literal sense, referring to guys that don't shower for extensive periods and attempt to mask their lack of hygiene with a body spray highly advertised as attractive to women. Let me tell you men who think that a cloud of body spray is a viable substitute for a shower- it doesn't work. Sorry.

Now that I have unearthed this secret talent of mine, I need to find a practical application for it. I need my readers to adorn their thinking caps because I am drawing a major blank. I did come up with a name for my superhero identity, however; The Nostrilator! Okay, maybe that lacks appeal. Not sure if moviegoers would attend that film. Not until I can concoct a viable arch nemesis. Logically, I suppose that would be a mutant creature comprised of piles of garbage and other vile-smelling things.

Any ideas? 

Forever Young

It seems that if you want to remain forever young, you don't need the Fountain of Youth, but rather to choose the right profession. Whether it is a negatively or positively spun article, every single one focusing on Paul Ryan refers to him with some sort of youth-oriented verbs- boyish and young being the main two. He is 42 years old. Imagine if he were in a different profession- underwear model, perhaps (many wish he were!). He would be considered well past his prime. Same with Julio Castro, the youngest governor of Texas at age 37. President Obama himself joked that he looked more like an intern.

On the other end of the aging spectrum are gymnasts, particularly in the Olympics. How old are you? 16? Psh, far past your expiration date. Gymnasts peak around age 14 or 15, when China tries to sneak them into the Olympic Games.

To stay on a continuous path of youth, here is what I recommend: become a child actor, then a gymnast, then a model, then a politician. Boom. If you follow that list of occupations, you will surely remain forever young. 

News- Expected to be Free

In his book Free, Chris Anderson argues that "sooner or later every company is going to have to figure out how to use Free or compete with Free, one way or another." Many traditional print news outlets like The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times are two companies that this argument directly applies to. Newspapers are dramatically struggling to find ways to convert their outdated business model to a digital one that will allow them to bring in revenue. In the past, ad sales on their pages generated their profit, but now that there are free ways to advertise with websites like Craigslist, newspapers need to look elsewhere to make money. This is a prime example of why they need to learn how to use, as Anderson calls it, "Free."

One way that newspapers attempt to cope with the transition from print to digital is by instituting pay walls requiring online readers to pay for a monthy subscription after they read a predetermined number of articles. This begs the question of whether or not readers will comply with this new model when there are so many other means of obtaining the same information for free.

Though papers like The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times still see a relatively high number of subscribers and have successfully convinced online readers to pay for content, this business model is not a viable one going forward for these companies. Eventually, they will need to concoct some other ways to generate profit as consumers are less and less willing to pay for news. Generally, people still willing to pay for a newspaper subscription are older. Younger generations of news-seekers turn to other media outlets for information. Therefore, instituting pay walls will typically not work for them.

Many companies face difficulties determining ways to generate revenue. A perfect recent example is that of Facebook. Their stock has already dropped substantially in value because it has yet to prove itself as more than just an internet fad like Myspace, and show that it is a viable business model. Clearly, in this modern age of technology where so much information is readily available at no cost, the only way to stay afloat is to find ways to incur profit at no cost to the consumer. Sounds like a conundrum. Newspapers need to put on their creative thinking caps to transition to a business model that excludes pay walls. 

The Roads of LA

Anything a traffic reporter needs to say in Los Angeles is: you're screwed. Don't even bother. Google maps should say the same thing to eager drivers seeking directions on their website. Any request in Los Angeles should put the website into self-destruct. Today I typed in my starting point and destination and Google maps said: total time: 12 minutes (35 in current traffic). Ha! Well, I wasn't laughing at the time.

The horrendous gridlock here is rated the worst in the nation for good reason, and can be attributed to multiple factors. Los Angeles drivers are among the worst in the nation, possibly the world (you could put them head to head with some European countries). To them, pedestrians equate to target practice and the horn is honked as a means of expressing any emotion, not solely to alert other drivers. This is typical driving behavior in normal weather. So, you can only imagine what happens when it starts to rain in a place where, let’s face it, it never rains. I don’t need to imagine it anymore (not as if I was previously, what a weird thing to imagine!) because I saw it firsthand.

Let me begin by relaying the humorous fact that there was a storm watch in place for Los Angeles this morning, provoked by what I consider a light sprinkle. Seattle natives would laugh in the faces of the Los Angelinos, the way that I do when they complain of humidity.

The way the already poor drivers of Los Angeles reacted to the gentle rainfall would have been comedic had I not been on the roads myself. To them, the celestial teardrops equated to massive, world-ending basketball-sized balls of hail. The forward motion on the highway slowed to a pace a snail could out-crawl (if you would say that snails crawl… maybe they slither? Slide? Glide?). This leads me to believe that they would all end up in a roadside ditch should they need to drive in *gasp* snow! Let’s hope it never comes to that.

News Addiction

Yesterday I overdosed on an addictive drug. I almost didn't make it out alive after the convulsions, dry heaving and cold sweats. Seldom is the public alerted to the dangers of a news overdose, despite their severity. I now take up the role of informant for the greater good to expose the dangers of a news addiction.

When I tuned to NPR to hear a story which I earlier read in the paper and almost immediately afterwards saw on the news, I realized I have a problem. I am a news junkie. Without my daily fix of Diane Sawyer, I start jonesing big time. The LA Times app is constantly activated on my phone's screen. The soundtrack accompanying every car trip is NPR. I listen to it so often that I could easily recite the names of the reporters. I need to be hooked up to an IV of breaking news.

So when I realized that I was hearing a story for the third time in two days, I fully acknowledged my problem. Another clue came about when I realized that I dream about Syria, the Mars rover, the hantavirus and the election. After surviving my news overdose, I realized I needed to take action before my condition worsened, so I tuned to a different radio station for the first time in far too long. Turns out Michael Jackson is a pretty good cure for news addiction.

Gardening Special Ops

Today I took on a top secret mission to protect one of the countries most prone to invasion and casualties of war: my grandparent's garden. It was a risky endeavor involving skills possessed by a select few, and my completion would ensure my promotion to a higher rank in the gardening special ops (bet you didn't even know that existed- that is how secretive and selective it is).

My first task was one to heal the ailing and wounded soldiers assigned to protect the hill behind my grandparent's house from invadors. The vegetation lining the hill and surrounding the army's power source (the solar panels on the hill) needed fertilizer- badly. Time was running out for the desperate soldiers, so my commander sent me in to save the day. One by one, I scattered four 20-pound bags of fertilizer along the expanse, making sure to leave no soldier unaided.

The next mission sounded simpler, but was more dangerous. Our intelligence unit informed me that a rogue ivy leaf was spotted in our grounds. The spy, sent by the neighboring garden already invaded by the ivy bent on world domination, intended to wriggle its way into our garden and initiate a takeover. I could not let that happen. Wielding weed killer, I trudged up the steep hill to the ivy's inconspicuous hiding spot and took him out before he knew what hit him.

My final task was a maintenance task. One of the sprinkler heads providing sustenance for the hill's vegetation needed adjustment as it was not functioning properly. I headed up the hill one final time, fixed the sprinkler, thus accomplishing my mission. I now hold the highest rank in gardening special ops.