Friday, March 8, 2019

Almost 30

In three days, the clock will strike a certain time, and I will turn a dreaded age: almost 30. This year, I’ll have to nix my tradition of wallowing in sorrow by myself, as I’ll be at work. Actually, I’ll just turn my wallowing inwards and cry metaphorical tears.

Men are lucky because they age gracefully and often get sexier the older they get. Two words: John Stamos. I however, am at this awkward age where I have wrinkles AND zits! Perfect example of how unfair life can be. So think of me on March 11th as I wallow internally and externally, when I’ll cry tears that will probably worsen my acne, and scrunch my face in sadnes which will deepen my wrinkles.

But you know what would make me feel better, dear reader?? A contribution to my GoFundMe where I’m trying to raise money for a new guitar. Anyone who donates can request any song and I will sing and record it for you. Check out my SoundCloud to hear my previous recordings if you need more motivation to donate. I mean come on, it’s my birthday after all.


Blue Lawn Chair

Apparently, I care about lawn chairs. I’ve always known that I typically give inanimate objects personalities and feelings. The “As-is” sect...