Easily one of the most irritating devices with which the typical person comes in contact every day is the public restaurant faucet. You would think that with so many variations of this piece of plumbing they wouldn't make you want to rip your hair out to the extent they do. This blog is dedicated to berating the models of faucets out there in public restaurants.
1) The Automatic Laser Faucet
This offender number one may not have ended up on my most-hated list if it actually worked. Instead, I swear I can hear it laugh a maniacal robotic cackle as it makes us all look like idiots flailing and waving around like we are suffering from an epileptic seizure.
2) The Never-Stays-On-Long-Enough Faucet
This faucet can be a subcategory of any of the other faucets. This little gem leaves your hands soapy and requires that you restart it about six times too many. I want to meet whomever the timer is based off of. I imagine it is some pouty little kid who refused to sing the recommended mental song "twinkle twinkle little star" while washing his or her hands as it takes that long to kill some germs.
3) The One Temperature Faucet
Of course, the one, unadjustable temperature is never an ideal lukewarm- it is always searing hot and risks singeing the skin off your hand or so cold you could swear an ice chunk just hit your palm. Does its designer not realize that public restaurant users like OPTIONS? I'm assuming he/she wasn't an American consumer.
4) The "You Have to Continuously Push it So it Stays On" Faucet
Who ever thought this model was logical? This one is actually an offender that could be placed in multiple categories- it usually only has one push button that you have to hold down the whole time and has one, unadjustable temperature. Of course, it also never stays on long enough so it is one of those as well. This one should probably jump to the spot of public enemy number one for being so unbearably awful. It makes almost as much of a fool out of its user as the laser faucet if not more so. I assume I am not the sole user who has tried to hold the button down with my elbow while pretzeling my arms around to get my hands under the stream of water. We all know how well that works (about as well as trying to lick your elbow. Elbows are just useless...).
There's my little rant about public restroom faucets. Up next: a rant about public toilets and soap dispensers. Just kidding- although those are also irritating.
1) The Automatic Laser Faucet
This offender number one may not have ended up on my most-hated list if it actually worked. Instead, I swear I can hear it laugh a maniacal robotic cackle as it makes us all look like idiots flailing and waving around like we are suffering from an epileptic seizure.
 |
| We all know how well this a$$hole works.... |
2) The Never-Stays-On-Long-Enough Faucet
This faucet can be a subcategory of any of the other faucets. This little gem leaves your hands soapy and requires that you restart it about six times too many. I want to meet whomever the timer is based off of. I imagine it is some pouty little kid who refused to sing the recommended mental song "twinkle twinkle little star" while washing his or her hands as it takes that long to kill some germs.
3) The One Temperature Faucet
Of course, the one, unadjustable temperature is never an ideal lukewarm- it is always searing hot and risks singeing the skin off your hand or so cold you could swear an ice chunk just hit your palm. Does its designer not realize that public restaurant users like OPTIONS? I'm assuming he/she wasn't an American consumer.
 |
| Come on, we like OPTIONS, one temperature faucet! |
4) The "You Have to Continuously Push it So it Stays On" Faucet
Who ever thought this model was logical? This one is actually an offender that could be placed in multiple categories- it usually only has one push button that you have to hold down the whole time and has one, unadjustable temperature. Of course, it also never stays on long enough so it is one of those as well. This one should probably jump to the spot of public enemy number one for being so unbearably awful. It makes almost as much of a fool out of its user as the laser faucet if not more so. I assume I am not the sole user who has tried to hold the button down with my elbow while pretzeling my arms around to get my hands under the stream of water. We all know how well that works (about as well as trying to lick your elbow. Elbows are just useless...).
 |
| I hate this thing more than I can express |
 |
| Simply atrocious design |
There's my little rant about public restroom faucets. Up next: a rant about public toilets and soap dispensers. Just kidding- although those are also irritating.
I’m glad you enjoyed it, I freelance write on the regular so let me know if you’d like for me to write anything specific!
ReplyDelete