Fruit? Vegetable?

I knew that there would be a problem teaching my special education class this week the instant I laid eyes on the worksheet that the head teacher wanted me to use. It sounds simple: he wanted to test the understanding of the students by giving them a worksheet depicting many fruits and vegetables and having them circle the answers when I say, for example, “red fruits.”

I started panicking a bit when I saw that tomatoes were one of the items of produce from which they could select. Crap. If I were to say “circle the red fruits,” would I have to count it wrong if they omitted the tomato? If I say “brown vegetables” and they circle the mushroom would I count it wrong because a mushroom is not a vegetable, but a fungus? What definition did the teacher want me to use? Culinary classification, which considers whether something is a fruit or a vegetable based on taste, or botanical classification, which defines a fruit as an edible plant containing seeds?

I’m about to go a bit Bill Nye on all of you. It’s time, once and for all, for us to understand what makes a fruit a fruit. According to livescience.com, a fruit is “a seed-bearing structure that develops from the ovary of a flowering plant, whereas vegetables are all other plant parts, such as roots, leaves and stems.” So, technically, olives, eggplants, peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, and pumpkins are all fruits. FRUITS!

However, the above only applies if you just want to follow the botanical definition. If you want to go with the culinary definition, things that taste sweet are considered fruits, and things that taste savory, like the aforementioned botanical fruits peppers, eggplants and pumpkins, are vegetables. On the flipside, rhubarb is a botanical vegetable but a culinary fruit. Confused yet?

Here’s a little history/law lesson for you, too. When deciding whether tomatoes should be taxed as a fruit or a vegetable, the Supreme Court elected to consider them a vegetable because that is “standard” and “common.” I wonder how eggplants and olives are taxed…

Well, in the end, I decided to just say “orange fruit” for which they could only circle the orange. I was immensely thankful that the worksheet’s creator didn't decide to depict a pumpkin, too, or I would have felt even more lost and confused.

But... WHAT IS A FRUIT!?