Jehovah's Witness Kidnap

It’s possible that Jehovah’s Witnesses will kidnap me tonight.

There has been a string of events leading up to this.

When I first arrived in Japan, I didn't expect to have visitors at my apartment. I never once anticipated hearing the doorbell ring, except when I was forewarned that a representative from the gas company would be by to make sure everything was working.

So, imagine my surprise when, out of the blue, I heard the doorbell chime one evening during my first week. Who could it be? A random neighbour coming to introduce him or herself? The Japanese equivalent of a girl scout coming by to sell me cookies? An insane axe murderer? At that point, I was so starved for interaction with another human being that even the idea of the last option couldn't prevent me from bolting to the door. 

It turned out to be people that many fear more than the dreaded axe murderer. My visitors were two Japanese women eager to talk to me about their faith. They were Jehovah’s Witnesses. The instant I realized this, I froze, completely regretting the eagerness with which I opened the door. However, it quickly struck me that I had a get-out-of-jail-free card up my sleeve. I quickly informed them that I didn't speak a word of Japanese. One of the women responded that she spoke English. Of course she did. The doctor at my local clinic and the workers at the City Hall didn't speak English, but, the Jehovah’s Witnesses come to hassle me spoke it perfectly. Just my luck.

I decided to be kind and hear them out instead of slamming the door in their faces. Their speech was simple and not pushy; they merely asked my name, asked if I was enjoying Japan so far, and requested that I look at their website if I felt so inclined. I never ended up feeling inclined. 

I assumed that would be the last time I saw them. I was wrong.

About three weeks later, my doorbell rang again. This time, I felt certain I knew who my visitor was. Earlier that day, I had made plans with another teacher to go out to dinner, so she said she would pick me up when she left school, but didn't give me a specific time. So, I grabbed my bag and got ready to go and skipped to the door. Yet, it wasn't the teacher who stood on the other side. No, no. It was the same two ladies. The moment I opened the door, they handed me a bag full of Japanese sweets and asked me how I was doing. They even remembered my name and its correct pronunciation. I wasn't sure if that should creep me out or make me happy, as my name was something I only told them once. That’s almost having too good of a memory.

This time, they asked me how I was adjusting to life in Japan, and asked me to watch a short video about God on their iPad. Okay, okay, they brought me food. I decided to humour them. Thankfully, the video was only about two minutes long and lacked any type of creepy subliminal messages. It didn't instill in me the slightest desire to convert to their religion, so I guess it’s not the most effective video. Before they left, they asked me to consider the question, “If you could ask God one thing, what would it be?” Yeah, okay, I told them I would think about it, and they left. When I opened the bag of sweets later that evening, I found inside a postcard with one of the women’s e-mail address and phone number telling me that if I needed anything at all to let her know.

I decided that I DID need something- a lunch plan for the next Sunday. So, I sent her an e-mail inviting her to lunch, realising full well that I’d likely be in for an earful about her religion. Not the case. We simply talked about our mutual love of travel and about our hobbies. She never once mentioned being a Jehovah’s Witness.

They came by a third time the week following our lunch. They asked me what question I would ask God. With all the crazy ISIS stuff going, on, I said I would ask God why he would let such wonderful people die in such a grisly way by being beheaded by a terrorist group. They seemed alarmed by my question and said “ah yes. You do not like injustice, and want to know why there is injustice.” And I concurred and said it didn't make sense. They told me they would research it and tell me next time.

Last night, I received an e-mail from one of the ladies inviting me to dinner tonight. At this point, I trust them, but perhaps I am completely naïve and they are actually planning to take me to take part in some creepy initiation ceremony to become a Jehovah’s Witness.

Nah… I bet it’s just dinner.