The Purpose of Things

Most earthly beings have a purpose. Whether minuscule or grandiose, every creature represents a piece of the puzzle of the universe. Wow, that was philosophical...

The purpose of many creatures is obvious- domestic animals keep us company or complete some agricultural function or another. Black-footed ferrets keep the prairie dog population in check, and if they aren't around consequences of prairie dog overpopulation run rampant (*ahem* Boulder, Colorado...). One missing link in the carefully composed food chain leads to chaos. No, this is not a rant about the environment or human impact on the animal world. It is a rant about something much, much smaller- fruit flies.

I do not think there would be the slightest negative impact on the world if fruit flies ceased to exist. The only function I could attach to these horrendous insects is to try the patience of those whose homes they infest and whose food they contaminate. On that same note, what is the point of silverfish? Mosquitos? The only thing mosquitos have given us is West Nile virus, and silverfish a career for exterminators.

The purpose of many insects manifests itself clearly. Bees are essential for agriculture through pollination (the same goes for butterflies which are also nature's decoration for us to marvel at), wasps aid in the fermentation of grapes and therefore wine production (which possibly allows for forgiveness of their evil stings), roly-polies are adorable and praying mantises take out less pleasant bugs with their kung fu moves and (what is the plural for mantis??) are just plain lucky (and make for hilarious animated characters like in Kung Fu Panda).

I imagine God was bored one day and decided to mess with us humans by creating obnoxious insects. Or he wanted to help us learn the virtue of patience.

Juice Woes

The most entertaining part of my day yesterday was when I tempted fate by sampling juices that were borderline expired and telling Flora, the Kreation Juicery employee, if I thought they had gone bad or not. I suppose that is asking for some sort of food-bourne illness, but I was willing to take that chance for free juice that normally runs at $5.41 a bottle (and that's at the employee discount price!).

There were three juices that, due to their funky-but-not-funky-enough-to-chuck tastes, I was permitted to bring home. However, it turns out that cold-pressed, never-pasteurized juices go downhill fast, as the next morning even I could not bring myself to drink them.

The fresh coconut water not from concentrate sold at the juice bar is like crack. When I first drank it I thought, man that is amazing, but not nearly worth the price. So I decided to try my luck at Trader Joe's for some store-bought coconut H2O. The price of less than $2 put me over the moon. But after I took my first sip... well, let me put it this way: I imagine it would be much like a pain killer addict trying advil the day after downing four Vicodin. The Zico coconut water from concentrate was one of the most disappointing things I've ever tasted!

Ok, Ben Affleck, you CAN direct...

I retract all previous annoyed sentiments instilled in me by yet another actor turned director casting themselves as the lead in their own film. It still bugs me that Angelina Jolie felt the need to direct a film, however; but to be fair I did not see her directorial debut.

I can't rightly assume what Ben Affleck is like in reality, but I do give him credit for having a marriage which is still going strong and has lasted more than the Hollywood average of 6 months. Even more shocking is that his marriage to Jennifer Garner is his first. That boosts his likeability substantially, as did his film Argo. Going into the theater with low expectations may have helped. Seeing the trailer for the film about 60 times eventually wore down my desire to see it. After having seen it so many times, I easily memorized a good deal of the comedic one-liners sprinkled throughout the dialogue.

Argo is based, arguably rather loosely, on the Iran hostage crisis of 1979. Irate Iranians stormed the U.S. consulate and held all inside hostage until the U.S. government met their demands and returned a hated prior leader to them to be hanged. Six U.S. officials escaped to the Canadian ambassador's house where they went into hiding in hopes that someone would come to their rescue. Cue Ben Affleck and the CIA! Initally, I thought "wow, this is so timely, what with Iran's prominence in today's news." Almost immediately after that thought, the more logical thought that it would likely piss off all Iranians took its place. I hope for Ben Affleck's sake that he is not placed at the top of any hit lists.

I say that the film is "loosely based" on fact because many events were injected with an element of timliness to augment suspense and were clearly fabricated. People answering crucial phone calls on the last ring kind of thing. The suspense certainly kept me glued to the edge of my seat, however, so it obviously worked. Not for a minute of the running time did boredom overtake me. Other emotions did, however; I felt the terror of the hostages along with their other spectrum of emotions from hope to hopelessness and joy to fear. Of course, it is impossible to accurately feel as someone in that situation would unless you were in a similar one yourself, but Affleck successfully gave his audience a taste of such emotions.

Also, Affleck did not try to involve any unrealistic love interests or sex scenes just for kicks so I give him props for that.

 

Robot and Frank

Whimsical, indie, charming, hilarious and bittersweet. With a list like that you must all be stroking your chins pervasively in an attempt to figure out the theme of this blog post. I can see all you chin-strokers now, muttering things like "hmmmm, I do wonder where she is going with this!"(Sitting with legs crossed next to a flickering fire in a log cabin wearing elbow patches, because that's what I visualize when I think of someone pondering).

Could she be describing an overly-dramatic dinner with her extended family? Possible- all of the aforementioned adjectives could easily apply to that situation. Or she could be describing a really cheerful or awkward funeral. Bittersweet would apply in that instance, but hilarous? That would need some explaining. And I am not sure how a funeral would be indie unless it was the focal point of an indie film. A wedding could certainly be whimsical, indie, and charming, but the last two would be cause for concern. Why is the wedding hilarious? Did the ring bearer throw up on the bride? If so, that is a very one-sided hilarity and also one that cannot be respectfully enjoyed until well after the ceremony. And bittersweet... well, in a good way you could look at the parents seeing their little baby girl all grown and starting a family. Tear drop moment right there.

Anyways, I am going to describe none of the above and stick with the whimsical, charming, hilarious, bittersweet indie film Robot and Frank. I've always had an ability to form emotional bonds with intimate objects like stuffed animals in my youth, and my bond formed with the robot was just as strong. It sounds strange to say, but there was definite onscreen chemistry between Frank Langella and the 1990s-looking robot (voiced by Peter Sarsgaard) purchased by his son (James Marsden) to care for him in his old age.

Frank lives alone in what we are told is the not-so-distant future where libraries are being replaced by electronic books and people can call you on your television. It's not a completely foreign place, there are just a few oddities to let you know that it is, indeed, the future. For example, many people put their household upkeep needs in the hands of robots, and instead of caregivers buy one for their aging parents, as is the case with Frank. Frank's hippie daughter (played by Liv Tyler) feels that it is inhumane to treat robots as servants- a humorous side plot throughout the film which causes some trouble for Frank and the robot's blossoming relationship.

Each element of the plot reached perfection, from the major twist near the end to the ending itself. Robot and Frank is truly a treat and brings you through the range of emotions you expect during a night out at the theater. 

Buffet of Thoughts

While browsing the notes that I sporadically type into my phone lest I forget something important, I was alarmed by the amount of ideas or partial ideas for blog content that never ended up on my blog. The problem is that many of them are just that- ideas. Therefore they are not long enough to comprise an entire blog. What to do? Well, I decided to dedicate a blog post to my random thoughts gathering dust in the notepad of my cell phone, so I can de-clutter a bit. Here goes:

1) Overdoing cutesy phrases: so, this past weekend a large portion of the main freeway going in and out of Los Angeles was closed. Media outlets warned SoCal inhabitants of the two-day closure for months and months in advance, and told them to keep away from the 405 at all costs. This is the second time construction of this magnitude was set to occur on the 405, and as the first closure was officially deemed "Carmageddon," the sequel closure was naturally referred to as Carmageddon 2. Very cute, right? That is witty and all, but a headline in the Sunday Los Angeles Times irked me beyond belief when it further altered the word "Carmageddon" which is already an altered word itself. The article was about how the closure, once again, did not cause nearly as much traffic as predicted, and referred to this as "Calmaggedon." Seriously? How obnoxious.

2) I can't decide if it is funny or sad watching college students in the check-out line at Trader Joe's (and other grocery stores I imagine- I just happened to notice it while at that particular store). Last Friday night around 9, I saw a young man purchase one lone banana and nothing else. I've also seen them stock up on ramen-noodle-esque soups and other food items you would expect to find in one of those cellars designed to store food in case of an apocalypse or severe storm. Sometimes they get in line with the most random single object in hand. One jar of tomato sauce. One chocolate bar. I mean, if you're going to the grocery store, shouldn't you at lease plan ahead a bit to save a trip later? I guess college mentally doesn't follow that reasoning.

3) Where do hair ties, socks and chapstick constantly disappear? I swear there have been times when I know that two socks of a pair went into the dryer, yet only one came out. This must indicate that there is a portal leading into an alternate universe inhabited by single socks, chapstick and hair ties. That could be an interesting compilation of residents. I wonder what their government would be like? A democracy? Or anarchy? Who knows. That could be the next book in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe series. I'd read that book.

Reflections and Spiders

Just like mirrors, we humans need to reflect sometimes. Though, I guess if you are a mirror you would be reflecting 24x7, and that must get mentally draining. I mean, think about it- if a mirror tries to reflect on itself in another mirror it would probably just come down with a severe headache. A mirror's reflection is just craziness, like an Alice In Wonderland tunnel. Okay, I'm not sure if I am making sense anymore.

Today, I reflect on my juice cleanse which leads me to conclude that it was worthwhile. Today, I enthusiastically chowed down my breakfast like a ravenous beast, thus having the obvious result of a stomach ache. So, for lunch, guess what I am having? Juice. That's right. Carrot, beet, celery, spinach, ginger, cayenne, cucumber and kale juice, to be precise. My body officially dislikes food. It turns it away like a child who turns up their nose when offered a plate of broccoli. Hopefully I come around by dinner time, because I am craving pasta.

On another note, I have realized that spiders and Californians seem to have a mutual respect for each other to the point where they are almost friends. There is one massive web that hangs over my head as I walk to my apartment which could easily be taken down with a broom, but no one ever does it. And the spider inhabiting that thing is not little by any means- in fact, I consider it more like the Godzilla of spiders. He has been there for so long I decided to name him Hank. I check to see if he is inhabiting his web when I walk under. I also noticed an arachnid hanging out in his web outside of my bathroom window. If Hank is Godzilla Spider, this unnamed outside of bathroom spider is Godzilla's weight-lifting, steroid-using brother. I have not named him yet because I just noticed him a few days ago. Also, why do I assume all spiders are males?

I admit it took me awhile to acclimate to being in the presence of mutant spiders seemingly related to the one that bit Peter Parker, but now I do see them as my little buddies. They go about their business and I go about mine. The only beef I have with the spindly-legged creatures is when they build their webs at night in places where I can't help but run into them. It makes me feel like Frodo in Shelob's lair, and that's not a good feeling.

The Final Countdown

I hope the band that sings that song, Europe, doesn't sue me for improper use of copyrighted information. That would make them pretty desperate for cash. It's the third and final day of my cleanse. To be honest, I did not think someone could survive on a juice diet, but not only am I surviving, it's safe to say I am thriving. I feel awesome and definitely like I could do this for a few more days. But I also miss food, and that cancels out my desire to continue cleansing.

2:14 PM Day 3

My running around like a chicken with its head cut off (who came up with that saying anyways? What a creepy visual) prevented me from writing until now. However, I am on juice four for the day, with two remaining, and I feel energetic and productive! Unfortunately, the cleanse did not provide as deep of a sleep last night as it did the first night, but I still fit in plenty of Zs.

4:01 PM Day 4

I am currently drinking my last Master Cleanse which is a bittersweet feeling. I have formed some creepy, psychological-analysis-worthy bond with my juice cleanse. I've heard of people forming deep attachments with intimate objects, but this seems a bit over the top. I am almost tempted to sign up for a couple more days!

8:25 PM Day 4

Well, the cleanse comes to a close. Nice alliteration, Marisa. I'm going to miss the master cleanse, but I'm excited for food! I still feel great, like I could continue for a few days, but I'm not going to. I did my three days, I'm done!

Sweet and Spicy! Addictive!

Liquid Candy Cane

Packed with Veggies yet tastes Fruity!

Lunch Time!

Cleanse- Part 2!

9:39 AM Day 2

So guess who is on day 2 of a cleanse and still feels AWE-SOME! If you guessed me, well aren't you insightful? Just kidding. Well so far I have had one green juice and my chlorophyll water since I like to bite the bullet on that one and get it out of the way as soon as possible. I also did yoga this morning and currently feel like I am on top of a mountain. Woot!

1:16 PM Day 2

I forgot to add that a juice cleanse may as well be synonymous with a cure for insomnia. I slept like a rock, sans earplugs and sans eye mask, for about 9 hours straight. For the first time in many moons, I did not have to exhaust my options of counting sheep, reading until my eyelids grew heavy and any sort of dances to sleep gods (okay, slight exaggeration). I am about halfway through my cleanse and still feel great. Someone told me it is because I was eating right and exercising prior to the cleanse, which means my body has less toxins to rid itself of. Isn't that jolly news?

1:46 PM Day 2

Wow. I am regretting this whole thing. Just kidding, I still feel great! I realize I just wrote less than an hour ago, but I just started drinking a peppermint water and I wanted to inform my readers that it is unfathomably tasty- like drinking a candy cane (or possibly toothpaste if you were to just extract the peppermint flavor)! Mmmm!

6:01 PM Day 3

I am sweating and feel like an anvil is pressing on my stomach but mentally I still consider my mood stable. I have already begun composing a grocery list for my return to a normal diet! Thankfully, I have one juice to go- I'm trying to hold off as long as humanly possible.

8:25 PM Day 2

I had no idea it was possible to feel so tired at this early, pathetic hour of the night. Yet here I lay, in my jammies and under the covers. Let's hope I survive tomorrow!

Second Attempt

Well, it's official- I have restarted my detox. I made the decision after my dreams were haunted by veggies taunting me that they defeated me in my last go-around. I don't take too kindly to mockery by vegetables, so with revamped determination, my journey to kick their butts has begun again.

The juice cleanse consists of six juices and two alkaline waters spaced out throughout the day. Four are based on greens- kale, romaine, celery, cucumber, you name it- and two are called "Master Cleanse" and are comprised by agave, water, lemon and cayenne pepper. Amazingly, the latter is scrumptious!

11:47 AM on Day 1:

Well, so far I have consumed one water (chlorophyll, which tastes less algae-y [not that I have ever tasted algae] the second time you try it) and one green juice and one master cleanse. I feel fine at the moment- not hungry or tired, just a little bit out of it. I read what to expect, and it said day 2 is when the cranky pants really start to ride up your legs.

4:39 PM on Day 1:

I am down to two juices. Currently, my throat is tingling with the spice of cayenne courtesy of the Master Cleanse. My mood is actually peaking for the day- I am overcome with euphoria, probably due to starvation. We'll see how long this good mood lasts....

7:30 PM on Day 1:

Apparently it lasts at least three hours, because I still feel fantastic and rearin' to go and I am only halfway through my last juice. The hardest part of today was when the mother of the girl whose party I was running brought in a red velvet cake and told me to take a slice home. Guess what my first food will be following day 4??

Maybe Next Time, Juice

So here's pretty much what happened- yesterday, day 1 of my cleanse which was supposed to last three days, I had to drink beet juice mixed with other vegetable juices twice. When I realized that I was paying to drink beet juice which I could hardly choke down, I realized why so few people do juice cleanses, and why many people, like me, cop out after one measly day.

All it did was made me tired- last night I slept for 10 hours and possibly only woke up once. So, I guess the cleanse works as a sleep aid. I may try again next week, so stay tuned. 

Juice Cleanse

Well, I know how much you all love to follow my life journeys and adventures, and it has been ages since I have embarked on one. The long wait finally ends tomorrow, however, when I begin a three-day juice cleanse. See, I figured now that I am doing the Bikram yoga almost every day, I might as well add one more super hippie thing to my routine, and I can't think of anything more hippie than a juice cleanse.

My co-workers all reacted differently to the cleanse. One got cranky, one slept a lot, and one was too busy to notice she wasn't eating. I hope to be the third option.

So a few hours ago, I enjoyed my last meal before diving head-first into this cleanse which will begin tomorrow morning. I will post pictures and my reactions as the day wears on. The juice I am most nervous about is chlophyll water. This sounds more like something that would grow on the side of a fish tank or be the subject of a National Geographic botany special than something that should go into my body.

It may be a strange experience, but I am all for trying new things and documenting them. So, wish me luck!

My Running Mates

Don't worry, I'm not referring to politics. I am not about to unleash my own personal Paul Ryan on the scene. I am talking about running the sport, as in "don your Nikes and hit the track"running. And as for the "mates," I am talking about the people with whom I share the track every morning.

The mornings I am able to motivate my sorry butt out of bed at 6:30, which seems to my groggy mind to be the crack of dawn (actually, with the time change it is still relatively dark outside), I run up the road, turn right, turn left, and then complete between one and three laps (depending on the level of protest from my knees and feet) on the track at Holmby Park. (Side note: when my knees and feet just picket with their obnoxious homemade signs and crude slogans, I still manage to get to at least three miles. When they partake in a full-on strike, a la teachers in Chicago, is when I have to shorten the distance).

Due to my consistency as far as what time I go running, I tend to run past the same people on a daily basis. I have come to recognize the "regulars" who frequent Holmby Park. There is the elderly man who wears headphones and loudly sings old show tunes. There is the short middle-aged woman who does a fast walk while swinging her arms intently. There is the woman who wears a sweatshirt from Brown University. There is the elderly Asian couple. I always smile, wave or nod at all of them. Or, if I am not gasping for breath too much, I will go so far as to utter a brief greeting. Previously, my gestures went unnoticed. Yet slowly but surely, I turned people around. The toughest nuts to crack were the Asian couple- despite my attempts a friendly greeting they shifted their gaze away from me.

Persistence pays off, I discovered- after multiple weeks, they finally acknowledged me with a small smile. I had no one to wave or smile at yesterday, however; it turns out no one else goes running at 5 in the morning on Sundays.