Hermaphrodite Literature

My last post gave off the impression (to me, at least) that the recommendation that I read Middlesex was a head-scratcher. That is not the case. Novels penned by Jeffrey Eugenides are worth reading simply because he is such an all-around talented writer. When combined, his words, as those of good writers do, reach into the innermost part of their readers and violently yank out emotions. Equipped with literary prowess, when Eugenides decides that he wants his reader to feel something, they FEEL it, and are powerless to stop the catharsis.

His personification of a fire engulfing a town in flames stuck in my mind superglue style. "...the fire dodges him and races up into the house. From there it sweeps across an Oriental rug, marches out to the  back porch, leaps nimbly up onto a laundry line, and tightrope-walks across to the house behind. It climbs in the window and pauses, as if shocked by its good fortune: because everything in the house it just made to burn..." (Eugenides, 56).

Before reading this passage, I thought that the only fire capable of marching, leaping, tightrope-walking and climbing was Calcifer from one of my favorite movies, Howl's Moving Castle.

My favorite personified fire

So...Middlesex is about a hermaphrodite. The story of his/her life, told by Cal (formerly Callie), begins two generations before him with the history of his grandparents' journey from Greece to Detroit. He tells the sequence of events from the first person omniscient (for those of you who dozed off in high school language arts, that means that Cal is the narrator and knows everything, even events he was not present to witness). This may not sound like a unique element of the plot, but he does so in an interesting way. At points, Cal observes the relationships of his family from his perspective as an egg inside his mother's ovary. How clever is that?

So, what is the story? How did Cal, formerly Callie, end up this way? Well, that IS the story, and I don't want to spoil hours of fun reading for all of you, so I will keep my summary as just the tip of the iceberg. Simply put, there is more scandal and drama in Cal's parent's and grandparent's relationships than there is in the Kardashian family. Cal pairs the chronicling his own family's immigration and formation in Detroit with the corresponding events in Greece and the United States, which gives the novel a historic element.

There are scenes in Middlesex that are uncomfortable to read. As I mentioned in my previous post, I personally did not find reading about a hermaphrodite right before bed to be particularly conducive to a good night's sleep. It is dense and demanding, but if those two alliterative adjectives don't frighten you, feel free to take this novel head on. It is undeniably quality writing, but not what to read if you are looking for quick and light writing. 

OMG, You NEED To Read That Book!

Over the past couple of weeks, there were two books vying for my undying attention, and I found a way to coddle both of their over-inflated literary egos. The first book is what I refer to as an obligation book: the boasting of its cover that it won a Pulitzer Prize and is part of the Oprah book club along with and my friend's constant, almost nagging recommendation of it make me feel that it is a necessary read. However, whenever a book is labeled as such in my mind, I instantly find that reading it becomes just another task on my to do list, and whether it is enjoyable or not, it becomes a chore.

I can still see some of you scratching your heads, befuddled and wondering what on God's green earth I am going on about, thinking "that crazy Marisa! There's no section titled 'Obligation Literature' at MY local Barnes & Noble!". First of all, you are wrong- that section just goes by a different name- "Required Reading by High Schools" or, "Book Club Reading" (although the second one is arguably a self-imposed requirement, since book club members join of their own accord, unless it is some kind of book club cult). Even the "Our Staff Recommends..." section somehow seems more obligatory than merely suggestive. Like a challenge almost; bet you can't read all the books we read!

There are two subcategories of obligation books: friend/relative-imposed obligation books and society-imposed obligation books (indicated in one way by the Oprah book club sticker). The first is rather dreaded and exactly what happened to me with my most recent read, Middlesex. Wow, it just took me two entire paragraphs to get to the name of book one of the two vying for my attention. I can't even imagine how much longer you will be sitting here waiting for me to mention the second.

You CAN'T ignore that "winner of the Pulitzer Prize" sticker!

I got myself into the obligation completely- I recognize my culpability. One day, while enjoying coffee with my friend, I mentioned how much I enjoyed reading The Marriage Plot by Jeffery Eugenides. My friend perked up (more than she already had from the caffeine) and said "ooh! You need to read his other book, Middlesex!" There it was: that dreaded "you need to read..." comment. I figuratively rolled my eyes, thinking, "please stop adding books to my reading list" but saying with mock enthusiasm "yeah, totally!"

Unfortunately, hers was not the only "you NEED to read..." comment pertaining to Middlesex. I can often shrug off such comments if there is only one. However, when I brought up my recent read in my acupuncture appointment, my acupuncturist recited the exact same words! "You NEED to read his other book..." I eyed her suspiciously after she said that, wondering if she and my coffee-drinking friend were in cahoots and plotting to ensnare me in the pages of an overly-engrossing novel. Whether they were or it was purely coincidental, ensnared I was. If you haven't read Middlesex, first of all OMG you HAVE to read it (ha! Gotchya! Have fun obligation reading for the next few weeks!). It is about a hermaphrodite and his/her  upbringing and life challenges. This made for dense and disturbing reading material that messed with my mind on a number of levels. The sequence of events triggered by once I finished the first page ended up reflecting those from the kid's book If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. If you give Marisa a book about a hermaphrodite, she will look up "hermaphrodite" online from sheer curiosity. If she looks up "hermaphrodite" online, she will see disturbing images of genitals. If she sees disturbing images of genitals, she will not be able to fall asleep as they will come to the forefront of her mind right as she is trying to settle down. Okay, maybe not the best sequence of events for a kids book.

Here is where book two of the two books vying for my attention comes in: remember how, in a previous post, I said that Mindy Kaling's book tucked me in better than a Swiss au pere (I think Swiss was what I went with, I'm too lazy to check)? Well, it just so happens that so does B.J. Novak's (also an actor/writer from The Office) new collection of hilarious short stories. So, my method became: read Middlesex for as long as possible until I became mentally troubled, then read one or two short stories to lull myself to sleep. This worked like a charm!

Well, I would go into my reviews of the two books, but this post has already morphed into a tome, and I want to give you eyes a brains a reading break. Peace. 

Best Impulse Buy Yet

I spent 11 dollars on a book. With the technology available allowing today's reader to simply download the book for a fraction of a fraction of that cost or to buy the physical thing online for a fraction of the cost as well, that 11 dollars qualifies as an impulse buy. Therefore, I expected a lot from this reading experience- if I didn't start laughing embarrassingly loud on the first page, I would have stormed back into Target demanding a refund (and I certainly wouldn't want to burn any bridges with my beloved Target).

Honestly, I was just looking for a good time when purchasing this book, much like the sleazy, portly balding man at a bar desperately attempting to pick up chicks and eventually giving up and calling a cheap hooker. But then, at least in this analogy, he comes to realize that the hooker has a heart of gold and gives better advice than Dr. Phil (bad example- his advice is crap) and Dear Abby's love child (Dr. Abby?). Sorry this comparison is a bit abstract- in it, I am the creepy balding man perusing the book shelves looking for a serious read and caving in and picking up the Mindy Kaling book as a last resort just for fun. Yet, as I flipped through the pages, some turned out to be chalk full of fantastic, life-altering advice. Listed below, in no particular order, are the most prevalent pieces of advice that stuck with me like Gorilla glue (superglue's even more intense cousin).

1) Don't complain about stress- her words of shining wisdom: "I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. No one is going to say, "Wow, Mindy, you really have it especially bad. I have heard some stories of stress, but this just takes the cake." (Kaling, 75). Wow, I have not annotated anything like that since high school. See, your lessons stuck with me even if your name didn't, Mrs. High School English teacher! Let me begin by saying I love her use of italics to portray irony. Perfect. Immediately after reading this, I started thinking twice about when complaining.

2) Be comfortable in your body- Mindy shares anecdote after anecdote about her size. Though hardly notable when not under the scrutiny of society's magnifying glass, Kaling is a size 8 and was a chubby child, putting her at the mercy of bullies. Her complete comfort and confidence regarding her size are truly inspiring and make her a rare beacon of hope as a role model for girls today. She begins the book with explaining why she could never be thin, one of the reasons being she would lack the insulation to keep warm. That was one of my first laugh-out-loud moments in the book.

Mindy loves her size and is freaking gorgeous and confident

3) Date men, not boys- had I been drinking something while reading this section, it would have erupted out my nostrils (nice image, I know). Mostly because I know the difference first hand between dating the immature vs. the mature man, and Mindy captures the hilarity in it so perfectly. As Mindy accurately points out, "Men know what they want. Men make concrete plans. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn't on the floor. Men tip generously. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men go to the dentist..." (Kaling, 177). Okay, you get the point. All spot-on observations, Mindy!

Reading this book before bedtime tucked me in better than a Swiss au pere just shipped in from the old country. I greedily and eagerly gobbled up page after page before turning in and fell asleep content and dreaming of stories from Mindy's childhood and early days as a writer for The Office. The book I read prior more closely emulated a frightening, Russian butch woman. The thrilling contents of its page chronicling the events in a murder mystery were not exactly conducive of a good night's sleep. Thankfully, that all changed when my dear Mindy's words cradled me in their literary arms.

A Marriage is a Plot with Many Twists

Little Zs swirled around my own bored head as I attempted to verbally describe the plot of The Marriage Plot to an inquirer asking what the book I was reading was about. There's really no getting around it- the synopsis makes the Jeffery Eugenides novel sound like a total snore-inducer. Maybe it will be less so in blog format. Here goes:

Madeline, a 22-year-old Brown University student is about to don her cap and gown and graduate with a degree in English. Initially, she planned to move in with her boyfriend, Leonard, after graduation while applying to grad school. Yet they recently broke up leaving Madeline without plans and heartbroken. On graduation day, she happens to run into a university friend, Mitchell, who we later discover is and always has been madly in love with her. He is about to head off to India, seemingly missing his chance with his true love. Madeline also learns on graduation day that Leonard, who she believes is her one true love, was committed to the psych ward. SPOILER ALERT she skips graduation to go see him where he confesses he wants to get back together, so they do. The plot switches viewpoints between Madeline, Mitchell and Leonard, who it turns out is a manic-depressive. The story follows their intertwined lives and their changing relationships after departing the Ivy League.

Man, I can feel my brain cells dying of boredom and my fingers melting into the keyboard just from writing this. Hopefully your cells are hanging in there and I can not be held accountable for making my readers brain dead.

If the plot were easier to summarize and sounded more enticing, it would be far easier to give well-deserved kudos to this novel. Something about the most basic desire to know who Madeline ends up with, Leonard or Mitchell, and following along with Mitchell and Leonard through their prospective struggles make it a well-worthwhile read and page-turner. Eugenides truly makes his readers feel for his characters- I pity Madeline for loving and desperately trying to help a manic-depressive, yet also pity Leonard for being one and admire him for attempting to overcome it. I felt myself rooting for Mitchell during his journey abroad and quest for religion. He never ceased to love Madeline.

There are comical parts, some raunchy sex scenes (definitely not for kids) and beautiful scenic descriptions all sprinkled amongst truly engaging prose. A good, page-turning book here!

Books Straight out of the Dryer

If literature could be compared to the some kind of fluff, Something Borrowed is the kind of fluff you pick off your clothes after removing them from the dryer. Or the kind of fluffy fur on Pomeranians. You look at it, touch it, feel and relish the fuzziness, and then instantly forget it. But what better way to hack down and murder stress demons than by spreading apart the covers of Something Borrowed and allowing the juicy plot line of a love triangle where a girl is sleeping with her best friend's fiancee ooze out over the pages you are trying to hide behind The Wall Street Journal since you are reading in public. Wow that sentence's length far exceeded what is appropriate.

At a certain point in any reader's life, they are bound to get sick of serious Russian novels (don't worry, I'm not doing any Tolstoy bashing here) and classic literature forced upon them in high school, as those genres are much less apt to mercilessly remove stress, often doing just the opposite. Of course, classic literature comprises an immensely important place in society in my oh-so-humble opinion, but novels like Something Borrowed are, though perhaps to a lesser degree, vital.

I remember well the day I watched Something Borrowed, the film based on the book, in case you couldn't use your keen sense of reasoning to figure that one out. It seems every time I am on a transcontinental flight lasting the lifetime of certain insects, cosmic forces come together to plot against me by making all of my inflight movie options the one-star crap that should have gone straight to DVD if it didn't already. Yes, I am insinuating that the film version of Something Borrowed is not a high-quality film about to skyrocket to the top of any critic's must-see list. It falls neatly into the same category of entertaining but forgettable. Yes, that is officially a category. Back to the point, I ended up watching Something Borrowed en route from Spain to Denver. I figured I'd at least improve my language skills while the melted cheddar-cheesy plot rotted my brain by changing the language to Spanish.

For those of you who haven't seen the movie or read the book, here's a brief synopsis: Rachel and Darcy, best friends from their early youth, find their friendship jeopardized when Rachel sleeps with Darcy's fiancee, Dex. And then, OMG, Rachel and Dex actually fall in LOVE! Oh woe is me. Should she continue to be Darcy's right hand woman or follow her heart? Oh the dilemmas... sounds like an episode of Maury Povich. Who doesn't love a good love triangle? Or love rhombus in this case (they are much more interesting than love squares), since one of Dexter's friends is hot for Rachel. Woah, plot twist!!

Total besties!!!!

Totally in love!?

Or....are they??

People who should read this book are shameless women looking for a stress-free, quick, entertaining and comical read and who aren't afraid to attract a couple of looks from strangers questioning their IQ. Seriously, I wish I could have snapped a photo of the way people's faces scrunched up in disapproval when I showed them what I was reading. In all frankness, I can't think of a single man who would enjoy reading Something Borrowed, but I've been wrong before. And yes, I admit shamelessly that I will be reading the sequel. I bet you can guess the title... Something Blue. Seriously.

You're reading WHAT??