Boulder and D.C. Couldn't Be More Different

Differences between the D.C. area and Boulder, CO:

1) "Recycling" is not a familiar term to inhabitants of the nation's capital. Whereas those who do not compost are generally subject to scrutiny form the environmentalists comprising Boulder's population, I'd bet that the majority of D.C. residents do not even know what composting is, nor have the option to do so.

Yeah... you're not getting these options in D.C. 

2) There is this crazy thing called "diversity" in D.C. as opposed to in Boulder where everyone is a slightly different shade of white. Pale white, slight olive-hued but still white skin, white with freckles...Here, I am often the only Caucasian on the bus or in a restaurant or in the gym and I love it. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

This is diversity in Boulder... I guess the guy in the front is slightly tan?

3) Sidewalks randomly end. It is seriously perturbing, especially for runners like me. There seems to be no rhyme or reason as to why they end, but right when you least expect it, the sidewalk just disappears, perhaps into some other dimension comprised entirely of the last portions of D.C. and Northern Virginia sidewalks.

That looks about right... 

4) Gluten free? Dairy free? Huh?? I've sporadically seen some gluten free items along the shelves of markets here, but asking for dairy free in a restaurant receives an eyebrow raise from the waiter and a completely baffled look. Chances are, if they say it is a dairy-free dish, you're probably going to get some anyway.



5) Pedestrians beware! In Boulder, anyone traveling on foot can basically step in front of an 18-wheeler without even glancing both ways and the truck will come to a screeching halt. Here, a pedestrian can be mid-intersection DURING a WALK SIGNAL and still provoke honk after honk from angry cars trying to turn right and having to wait a whole ten seconds for someone to cross the street. You could easily get struck by a car and it would not be a big surprise to anyone. 

Disney Parks are SO not PC!

It's a little sad how greatly our society overreacts to things that are "not politically correct" today. For any example, just turn on the TV or look through the advertisements in a recent magazine. Standing side by side are an African-American woman, a young woman of undefined Asian descent, a blonde white guy, a dark-haired white girl, a mixed-race girl looking part Latina and part Native Eskimo, a pasty, albino-looking guy, a Latino guy... you get my point. It's like, yes, I understand that companies want to be diverse, but come on, that is a little over the top. Subtract two of those ethnicities and still no one will blame your company for not being substantially diverse.

Not diverse enough, guys....where is the Chinese woman?!

I feel like my appearance is SO underrepresented!! 

On the other end of the "politically correct" spectrum lies Disney Resorts. Let me begin with a disclaimer: I have absolutely nothing against Disney Parks. In fact, I love them with a fiery passion- the way they allow me to feel like a little kid again, the magic floating throughout the air surrounds visitors with an undeniable, charm that transports them to their carefree childhood days. Yet, for this visit to Disney World, the non-PC aspects of the park became glaringly obvious.

As for the rides, the prime offender is easily the "it's a small world" ride. I mean, wow. I almost hope that it does not exist at the Disney Parks in Shanghai, Japan and Hong Kong. Like, at least at the Florida and California parks the American animatronic doll things aren't sitting around a pickup truck eating burgers and hot dogs with bald eagles on their shoulders and gloating about how the United States is the best country in the world. I mean really, what does this ride teach little kids? That all Parisians are can-can dancers, all Japanese women are geishas (I'm noticing a prostitution theme), all Mexicans wear sombreros and play the guitar and Australians are Aboriginals and best friends with kangaroos and koalas. I mean, OBVIOUSLY!

Yikes. How has no one in our lawsuit-obsessed nation not tried to wring some dollars out of the Disney company which has a billion dollar plus revenue each year? People in the US LOVE to sue the pants of off anyone they can, yet only one person that I know of has sued Disney over the small world ride because he got stuck on it and claimed emotional distress from hearing the song over and over. The guy won money though, so hey, kudos to him.

The portion of this Kyle Cease video starting at 52 minutes is the most hilariously accurate thing I have ever heard: