Gender Differentiated Hair Removal?

I was shopping at Target today to pick up a few last minute things for my Vegas trip (I know that you will all miss me more than a puppy with an anxiety disorder misses its owner when I am gone, try to hang in there- it is only four days). As I strolled along, I observed that the aisles containing deodorant and razors and other things of that nature are separated into two aisles based on gender. Lady Speedstick does not reside alongside her masculine counterpart, and a razor for a lady is found nowhere near those for men. I really do not think it was always this way- in the past, men and women had to shop for their hair removal and sweat stopping needs in the same place, and endure those awkward stares from each other. I believe that this change was made mainly for the benefit of the ladies- I mean, imagine if men found out that they sweat! The whole balance of heterosexual relationships which already hangs percariously by a thread would be thrown into utter anarchy!

Good thing Target had the decency to continue fooling men into thinking that women are naturally hair-free and do not spend hours plucking, tweezing, waxing, shaving, and other equally painful home treatments to continue the ruse. Then again, I guess there is a bit of embarrassment associated with a man buying wax. Actually, since I have been strategically banned from the man hair-removal aisle by Target's clever setup, I have no idea if men do wax anything, and will never really be able to find out lest I risk an awkward trip down an aisle in which I would clearly have no business whatsoever. I guess there was that one commercial for I cannot recall which product where there are two college-aged guys in a bathroom and one is waxing the other one's back. So unless the advertising industry is lying to me, I guess that happens on occasion.

Now it is only a matter of time before the Intuition razors start picketing in protest that they want equality between them and the Gilettes for men. Targets nationwide will have to shut down for weeks- imagine the chaos! Just give the Intuition what it wants and put it next to the Gilette!


What is this lady doing??

The Eiffel Tower Will, Like, Totally Alter Your Reality

That is, according to the random Boulder hippie seated at the table next to me while I ate lunch at Noodles. His informing me of this was provoked when he saw my messenger bag depicting the London underground map. Our dialogue went something like this:

Hippie: (pointing at my bag) Woah, what city is that?
Me: London
Hippie: Cool! You been there then?
Me: Yes, it was lovely
Hippie: That's so weird, cuz Paris has one of those too!
Me: You mean.. a metro?
Hippie: Yeah!
Me: That's cool... I think most big cities have one of those though.
Hippie: Have you ever been to Paris?
Me: Yeah, it's great there
Hippie: Dude, tell me you climbed up the Eiffel tower!
Me: Well, my friend and I climbed up most of it, but we didn't want to pay to take the elevator all the way up.
Hippie: (looking completely dumbstruck) Oh man... you totally missed out!! I mean seriously, the top was soooo different from the level down! You could see like, ALL of Paris
Me: Well, we were still pretty impressed, but maybe next time I will go to the top...
Hippie: NO, I mean , you have NO clue how much you missed out on! It like, altered my entire reality and perspective on life!
Me: Well... I guess I will just have to go on with my reality as it is.
And then he asked me what my name was, and I told him, and he said it was nice chatting, and then left. Well, at least these charming encounters that are oh-so-typical of Boulder make for somewhat entertaining stories later. And if I am wrong, and you are not entertained, then too bad, at least this was a short entry.


7/8 of the way up: boring
The tippy top: reality altering

Who knew?

Not Impressed by The Hunger Games

Basically any movie based on any book is going to be somewhat of a slap in the face to the devoted book lovers. Now, the degree of pain which the slap inflicts upon these book-lovers varies by how true the film remains to the story. I was expecting The Hunger Games to be as accurate as modern day pregnancy tests from what I read of critics' reviews. I find this true on some levels, but some rather important aspects of the plot were altered far too much to be acceptable. Yes, I understand time limitations. However, I do not understand when inaccuracies are made that seem entirely unnecessary- something which happened far too often in this film.

I believe that before I even began reading the series, I knew that Jennifer Lawrence was cast as Katniss. Therefore, it was not a kick in the stomach when I saw her in the leading role, and I think there is no one else who could have played it more accurately. Ever since I saw Lawrence in Winter's Bone I was aware of her capabilities on screen. The fact that at her age she has already recieved an Oscar nod for best actress is fine evidence for this as well. So, I had no problem with her in the role of Katniss- she did an astounding job. The similarities between book characters and film characters pretty much end there, however.

The worst offender I believe was Donald Sutherland as President Snow. Author of The Hunger Games Suzanne Collins specifically makes him out to be a creepy guy with "puffy blue lips" (the kind which would insinuate multiple plastic surgeries). He is supposed to be a typical, overly made-up citizen of the Capitol, and yet to me he simply appears to be a kind old grandfather, the type of character which we see in Pride and Predjudice. Also on my list of horrendously-cast actors is Josh Hutcherson as Peeta. This may have been a product of my imagination, but I had invisioned him to be a manly, somewhat spastic, charming young man who clearly wins some of Katniss' affection. Their romance is a key plot point in the novel, and yet it was not well done in any way in the film. Hutcherson is a small individual and appears to be about 3 years younger than Lawrence- it is like DiCaprio and Winslet all over again in Titanic. This simply does not work, and they have some of the worst on-screen chemistry I have ever seen. The poorly-done romance between the two had a seriously negative impact on the film as a whole.

On a more positive note, the explanations of things that non-readers would not understand was generally exceptional. Fitting so many plots into the film is an extremely difficult task, and one that was done very well. The cinematography was also an aspect which positively contributed to the film, and it also did not feel too long or too short. So, I do not want to bully the film too much as I understand the difficulties faced by the filmmakers. Is it worth seeing? Yes, but do not be too disappointed by the discrepencies between cinema and literature.

These two? Seriously? He could be her little brother.

My Dream Dinner Guest

Remember in elementary school when your teacher asked which historical figure you would invite to dinner if you were able to do so? I think that I always had a rough time with that question and due to the nervousness it instilled within me, I would answer something generic like a former president or Oprah. However, I can now say with complete confidence that my dinner guest of choice for whom I would spend hours cooking and then selecting a perfect wine to compliment the dish would be Oscar Wilde. With a dinner guest like that, you would be guaranteed a good meal with plenty of laughs and a conversation incapable of lagging.

The Importance of Being Earnest is one of Wilde's repertoire of great works, oozing with the kind of humour that sneaks its way into your mind and embeds itself there. It is clever humour, irony, satire... the real stuff. None of the slapstick, cheap laughs that are far too common in today's culture. This is what defines comedy in my opinion, the kind that actually makes you think while you laugh and pokes fun at flaws in society and peoples' characters and not things like bodily functions.

The actors in the roles of this play performed with passion, and in all honesty I have no idea how they did not crack themselves up on stage. They were all brutally funny in their every move and vocalizations of Wilde's witty dialogue. The entire plot is so full of twists and turns that you almost need a roadmap, and the end is so meticulously perfect that you can't help but feel completely satisfied in the way you would after downing your favorite meal. I would recommend that everyone go to see this play, but I believe it was a one night only affair. So, I guess I could recommend reading the book instead!

Raccoons, Squirrels and Pigeons, Oh MY!

Monday was my first day as a volunteer at the Greenwood Wildlife animal rehibilitaion center. A couple of weeks ago, my friend Liz and I coincidentally both ended up going to the volunteer orientation at the same place, and therefore decided that we would do the same shift and carpool each week. Aside from being warned at the orientation multiple times about how gross (for lack of a more eloquent term) wild animals can be, I still somehow thought that I would not be phased when I actually began volunteering there. As you will see in the upcoming paragraphs I was in for a lovely treat...(that is sarcasm, for all of you who have trouble detecting it in text form).

In one day, I was peed on in addition to touching blankets soaked with pee from three different species, was attacked by pigeons, hissed at by raccoons, growled at by foxes and fed animals a better diet than most people eat. Don't get me wrong, I was not deterred forever from that place and still feel it's worthwhile work, but I just wish that the darn animals would appreciate what us potentially insane volunteers do for them. Upon our arrival, Liz and I spent some time filling out some paperwork, got our name tags, and then were instantly introduced to the world of wildlife rehibilitaion that made my stomach tie itself in knots multiple times. We were first led into the baby squirrel room; a cute room in which some very non-cute things occur. We were first warned about all the ways that one wrong move on our part when it comes to feeding them, like holding the syringe in the wrong position, would instantly kill them. No pressure. Then we were told about how since we were new, we could help to "stem" the babies. My mind could not even try to wrap itself around the term, and sparing you from the details of the procedure which basically covers your hands in baby squirrel pee, I will just say that it has to do with getting them to um...do their business into the garbage. Gross.

Liz and I were then separated and I went with a different employee to clean bird cages because I wrongly assumed that it would result in my being less covered by animal waste. Why I thought that, in retrospect, makes no sense to me. However, the worst part about the bird room was not the removal of the soaked paper towels from their cages but the reactions of the pigeons and doves as a strange arm invaded their space to do so. I was pecked at incessantly and these birds made noises that I did not know that lovely things like doves were capable of making. When I asked the lady showing me the ropes if it was really such a good idea that I clean their cages while they were still in them as one essentially was digging his beak into my flesh, she flashed me a smile and said "eh, it doesn't hurt that bad". I assure you, it did. Maybe she was used to it at that point in her bird healing career.

After cleaning the cages of say, 8 or 9 angry birds (much angrier than the ones in the popular smart phone game), I fed the bunnies and the muskrat who were thankfully not in attack mode which was extremely welcome after the morning that I had had. When Liz and I were reunited, we got to watch a raccoon with a rather Hulk-esque temper be given fluids because of his dehydrated state. I have never been so afraid to be in the same room with another creature, and had issues placing my trust in the handler who did not seem to be a match for the raccoon's rage. It almost matched that of the ire in the eyes of the fox who we fed later on that day.

Well, at least the animals are cute.
You have no idea what this guy is capable of...

The Drowsy Chaperone: This Musical Delivers!

I just did a quick brain-rack to see if I could pull a dusty memory out of my mental attic of a time when I laughed so hard during a musical. Though it was a quick skimming of my memories and not a cerebral spring cleaning, I doubt that any more time would have come up with any instance. The Drowsy Chaperone, currently on the main stage at Boulder's Dinner Theater, was witty, creative, and all-around entertaining.

It calls itself a "musical within a comedy" which makes sense in that it is a play within a play, but I think a more appropirate description would be a comedy within a comedy, as both plot lines were gut-bustingly hilarious. Many of the jokes bordered on offensive, but in a way that did not cross the line, and therefore worked wonderously. I mean, who doesn't love a good joke about Mormons? Or about cocaine in toothpaste? I guess you have to see it for that second one to make sense. The way that the story is structured is comedic in itself as well- the story is told from the mouth of a middle-aged man telling us about the musical The Drowsy Chaperone and he is occasionally interrupted by things like his phone ringing or the power going out. This method allows for constant creative humor and gives the audience something refreshingly different than what they expect from a theater experience.

The characters were vivid and charming thanks to a stunning cast composed primarily of Boulder Dinner Theater regulars. Among the many players contributing to the story are gangsters posing as pastry chefs, a melodramatic and alcoholic chaperone, a dumb blonde, and Adolpho. Never before has a character in a musical been so fantastically portrayed in my eyes as Adolpho, the stereotypical European womanizer who is instructed to seduce the female lead and prevent her wedding. Seth Caikowski got the character down pat, using a thick accent and clumsy movements that truly emphasized this hilarous role. My favorite scene hands-down was Adolpho's number with the drowsy chaperone. I would see it again just to watch that scene.

Though majorly unheard of, this musical is sure to please everyone as it is engaging and fun, not too long, and with lighthearted and catchy tunes. Bring your friends and your family, as long as they are old enough to hear jokes about cocaine and pornography- I promise that this musical will not disappoint!

His Mom Works, His Brother is the Guy from The Hangover...

...and Jeff lives at home. His mother's basement, more specifically, where he spends days on end smoking pot which likely leads to his repeated viewing and over-analysis of the movie Signs. Jeff is convinced that there are no coincidences-for example, that there is no such thing as a "wrong number". For this reason, he is sent on a fate-induced journey after recieving what you and I would consider a phone call to the incorrect recipient, and we go right alongside him to discover his destiny.

Throughout the tapestry of the plot, subplots pertaining to the lives of Jeff's mother (Susan Sarandon) and brother Pat (Ed Helms) are interwoven to add complexity to the story. Pat's character, in my opinion, adds a nice touch of humor to the plot because Ed Helms can't help but be hilarious. I mean, whose favorite character on The Office isn't Andy? In Jeff, his character Pat is struggling to save his seemingly doomed marriage with the help of his brother. As for their widowed mother, she is taken aback when she discovers she has a secret admirer in the office. And, as is expected of any story, these subplots all tie together in the end with one major event. I won't give anything away, because that would just be rude on my part, and I like to think that I have basic movie-review manners (though I am not sure that those have been officially defined).

This movie was okay, but not as good as I was hoping. The trailer made it seem like it was going to be a lot more fulfilling of a story and give me some sort of new perspective on humanity, but in reality it resolves on a rather simple note. For some reason, it just seemed to lack something that I cannot really place my finger on. Maybe I will recieve a sign from destiny telling me what it is.