I Don't Feel in Need of a Cold Shower...

Fifty Shades of Grey is an erotic novel. It says so right on the back cover, warning potential readers of the "mature content" within. Yes, I admit, it goes into extreme depth graphically describing sex scenes between the two main characters, Ana Steele and Christian Grey. Yet, at one point, I wanted to scream "enough, already!" I just wanted them to do something normal, like go out to dinner or see a movie. Even the most extreme nymphomaniacs don't spend 24/7 tangled up in the sheets or doing it in the tub. After 10 straight pages or so dragging on and on describing sexual encounter following sexual encounter, I must admit I am ready for a change.

Even the most graphic, well-written descriptions of sex (which these aren't), can drag on way, way too long. In my opinion, anyways...

The things that get Ana Steele "turned on" confuse me a bit as well. There is a scene where she talks about how bad she wants to use his toothbrush because it would be like having his mouth in hers or something equally gross. Sorry, but in what universe is using someone else's toothbrush sexy? Maybe she has a secret fantasy of doing it in a dentist's chair, too. And in reference to her point about "having his mouth inside hers," weren't their seemingly endless make-out session the night prior enough to satiate this desire? 

About every other sentence (okay, slight exaggeration, it's more like once or twice every page), Ana "bites her lower lip" which "drives Christian crazy" and makes him want to jump her bones on the spot. After the first few mentions of her weird lip-biting habit, I got really frustrated reading about it. But it just NEVER, EVER ENDS! I want to reach into the book and rip the phrases about her lip biting right off the page. Anyone who has read it knows to what I refer. 

Also, I am really unsure about the actor they chose to play Christian. He is supposed to be a hunky, super-ripped, chiseled sex god. I mean, the guy they chose is certainly attractive, but not quite to that degree, in my opinion. I would have been way happier with JT. Look at this smoldering gaze. 

These are just my opinions after reading the first half or so. I may throw in the towel and quit before the end, but I feel like since I made this much effort, I better just be a trooper and follow through. I mean, I did spend a whole three dollars on it at a used book store... that is QUITE the investment... 

Penis...description...overload...