Letting Go of Perfectionism in Painting

In case you didn’t know, I paint. Or at least, I dabble in painting. My medium of choice is acrylic, basically because I’m too lazy to wait for oil paints to dry and oil painting requires too many steps for impatient people like me. It took me a bit to find my niche; that which I love to paint most. Actually it took like two weeks. So nevermind.

My niche is silhouettes, mainly silhouettes of mountains and climbers (because, in case you didn’t know, I love to climb). I was so jazzed when I painted my first silhouette of a climber soloing the second flatiron. I dipped a tiny brush in black paint and on my first try created a little climber. Not only is painting silhouettes gratifying for me, but it is relatively easy. When I allow it to be, that is. For the first few months after I discovered my love of painting, I cranked out work of art after work of art, creating mountain scenes full of happy climbers (woah, that was such a Bob Ross thing to say...). However, with time, I started becoming a harsher and harsher critic of my own work. I began nitpicking over every tiny brushstroke, berating myself for painting silhouettes that didn’t look perfect. The defeating self talk, bellowing comments like “hm, that climber’s head isn’t proportional to the rest of his body!” grew so loud that I became discouraged. I stopped loving my hobby to the point where I stopped entirely for awhile.

Two happy climbers, two happy ravens! Bob Ross would be proud!

This was one of my first 

This little climber was my first ever silhouette! I hope he’s not falling...

Then one day while wandering the many aisles of Michaels, I found a new tool. It was a paintbrush pen. I rejoiced at the discovery, and realized that with this pen, I could have such control that I would attain perfection in my silhouettes. For awhile, I would simply draw the tiny climbers (climbers had evolved at this point; I had begun painting silhouettes of animals, plants, people doing things other than climbing [gasp!!], etc) with my black paint marker. It wasn’t until this morning that this really bothered me. I realized that I didn’t want this level of perfection in my painting. It didn’t enable me to enjoy my art more. Instead, it gave a megaphone to the self-defeating voice that had criticized my work for so long before. Honestly, using the pen for my silhouettes felt like cheating. So I stopped using it. I felt free almost instantly, as I could embrace the little flaws created by my hand-painting. 

I’m not saying it’s my way or the highway (although with most things, it is!). I completely respect whatever method of painting other artists use, and if that is using a paint pen and it doesn’t make them crazy and dislike their hobby, then that’s great! It just wasn’t working for me, and I had to realize that and respect myself as a painter. I still have some odd little quirks when it comes to painting. When I paint climbers, I always want them to have friends. Same with animals when I paint multiples in a scene. I want them to be happy little silhouettes (Bob Ross again!!). I’m not sure if that was always the case, but it is now. 

I won’t sign anything I paint until I’m truly content in how it turned out. That means happy with all the little flaws I create.

The painting that made me realize I had to return to my paintbrush ways!