Wednesday, May 1, 2013

State Harassment

On some days, cosmic forces seem to align with the single goal of deterring me from working out. One such day was today. Colorado didn't seem to get the "flip-your-calendar-to-May" memo and decided to throw another of her (I feel like CO is a feminine state) characteristic infantile temper tantrums by dumping copious amounts of snow onto her poor, unsuspecting inhabitants who were enjoying 70+ degree weather just two days ago.

I'm not sure what is with Colorado's weather 'tude. Either she is on a mad power trip and is laughing maniacally while messing with us, or an attention whore ('scuse the language) hamming it up since she was feeling ignored. Whatever the case, it is quite a deterrent from running outside. But I am training for the Bolder Boulder and am determined not to let Colorado and her bipolar weather fits discourage me. I gave Colorado the middle finger today after work and decided to get the upper hand in our relationship by braving the cold and blowing snow and running anyway.

Mistake. Colorado does not like being defied, and she gave me the middle finger right back by following my every turn and manipulating the wind to switch directions and blow snow smack-dab into my face every direction I ran. I persisted until my clothes were soaked and my breathing labored and only then did I declare Colorado the winner. After my run, I was off to deal with a very different kind of power-hungry entity- the Bar Method instructor.

I have to be honest, the patience to describe what the bar method is and how it deals with isometric muscle toning and then going on to explain what isometric muscle toning is and blah blah blah simply is not on my list of capable actions at the moment. So, watch the video embedded below and look up their website if you feel so inclined. If you don't, that's your prerogative. Whatever.


Let me tell you, running from the bitter, Siberian cold with numb hands that could barely grip the weights and a bright red face still void of feeling made an already intense class all the more difficult. I get harangued plenty by instructor who constantly appears at my side to shift my hips to a more proper posture enough as it is, but the appearance rate nearly quadrupled while I was half-assing my way through class. I wanted to look her square in the face and inform her that after being mercilessly harassed by Colorado, my hip was going to jut out slightly to the right and I had no intention of correcting it. Yet somehow, through sheer willpower, I managed to make it through another class comprised of somewhat suggestive muscle-toning moves to lean and strengthen my butt just a little more. A productive day, I'd say.

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