Just Do It!

I hope Nike doesn't send their legal minions to sue me for using their motto, but it has become a personal motivation for me to initiate my daily workouts. Something that I read in an issue of the Parade magazine long ago also helps make me roll out of bed in the morning to go for a run no matter how much I don't want to at the time. It was an interview with an elderly but super fit lady whom Parade asked about her fitness routine. The line in the interview that stuck with me was so simple: "There's no excuse to be lazy." Every time the morning light blares in through my window and I just want to pull my covers over my face and hibernate like a comatose bear, that little line nags at my mind incessantly until I finally get up and hesitantly don my running clothes.

One thing I fail to understand is how my mind can never seem to wrap its head around the fact that post-workout, I feel amazing in every way. You'd think that the sheer amount of endorphin highs I have experienced at the end of workouts would train my mind to realize that, although it's tough to get going, the end result is extremely worth it. That's where the Nike motto comes in: when my mind protests incessantly to a run like a child throwing a tantrum and saying over and over "no, I don't wanna!" I tell my whiny inner-child to "just do it." Wow, that definitely sounded like I have multiple personality disorder...

Such inspiring words...

Challenging myself to run 30 days in a row has motivated me an unbelievable amount. I mean, if I don't complete the challenge, the only person I will have to report to is myself, and that wouldn't be nearly as humiliating as admitting it to a friend who imposed a similar challenge. Yet though it is self-imposed, it is working like a charm. If under any other circumstance I happened to wake up and notice the extreme gusts that seem like they could easily lift me up and fling me across the street, I would have thought "hell no am I going out in that" and plopped back in bed. Yet, today, despite the wind gusts of death, I knew how disappointed I would be in me if I didn't go out for a bit anyways. Yes, it sucked. Am I happy I forced myself to do it? Absolutely.

So here we are, about 10 days into a running streak and 20 days in a row of working out. Let's see how long I can keep it up!

I wish I looked this awesome during my runs...

A bit more accurate...

Akshardham

Okay, the story chronicling my visit to the most georgeous temple of my life somehow managed to earn a mistakenly-long stay on the back burner to the point it almost fell through the cracks entirely. Normally I try not to backtrack so far in my blog world, but such an indescribable experience, which I am, ironically, about to attempt to describe.

The fact that Akshardham temple was built only 13 years ago made me a bit unsure if it was worth a visit, as it did not lay beneath the shroud of history that surrounds other sites. However, just one Google image search accompanied with constant insistence from other volunteers that we "MUST go there" convinced my group and I to make an afternoon trip. I am so glad we did.

It was a bit pathetic how horribly upset we all were that cameras and phones were banned on the temple grounds. Of course, as we are young people in a technology-addicted generation, the thought of a few hours without our devices horrified us, so we decided to sneak two phones in. One friend took my phone and tried to hide it in his large pockets, and my other friend stuck her phone down her bra. How intense of a pat down could it possibly be? Pretty intense, as it turns out- I felt rather violated but at least at security checks in India they let women receive their pat downs behind a curtain. The lady not only squeezed both boobs but also firmly cupped my butt. When I told this to the girl behind me, the one who stuck her phone in her bra, she immediately turned around and made the long trek to the parking lot to leave it in our cab driver's car to avoid its confiscation.

Here's a little side note- the cab drivers who take people to Akshardam always wait for their passengers while they visit the temple and then take them home. Most people don't realize until arrival that any electronics are not allowed inside, meaning they leave their precious belongings in the cab. How easy would it be for those cab drivers to hustle their passengers?? They could easily screw them over by driving away with all of their expensive, electronic belongings and make a year's worth of money by selling them on the black market. I am truly amazed that has not happened yet.

No photo can capture the beauty of this place

So after my two friends returned their phones to the cab, we were permitted entry. There was a description right as you pass through the gates with information on what there is to do and see on the temple grounds. The sign indicated that there was a boat ride, which made me giddy like a kid at Disneyland for the first time. It was a bit of a let down, however; a more boring version of the Small World ride but, thankfully, without the obnoxious song that sears itself permanently into your mind. A more appropriate name for the boat ride would be the "Boastful Boat Ride" as there were entire stretches of "land" that the boat passed by (think of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, for visualization's sake) where the narrator would inform us how the Indian people discovered gravity LONG before Newton, they were making airplanes thousands of years ago, had advanced medicine and surgeries prior to anyone else, and knew the world was round right from the start of their civilization. The list of their extensive bragging during the boat ride goes on and on; those alone were enough to irritate me and likely all other foreign visitors to the temple. The narrator could have saved a lot of time by just saying Indians and their ancestors are better and smarter than everyone else.

In addition to the boat ride, there was a somewhat creepy animatronic exhibit portraying scenes from the life of Lord Swaminarayan, the central figure in a modern branch of Hinduism called Swaminarayan Hinduism. For the sake of not having to type that horribly long name over and over, I will just call him "the Swami." So before we entered the first room telling about his life, we were told to be seated for a short presentation. Basically, the recorded dialogue explained how long it took to make the temple and how many people worked on it. Then it asked us a philosophical question that it clearly did not actually want an answer to since it gave us zero response time. The question was, "how many craftsmen does it take to create a life?" and the answer that came seconds later was "just one. You craft your own life." So, I guess the big takeaway there is that our lives are what we make them.

The exhibit involved moving from room to room throughout a building to learn of the life of the Swami. Each room was filled with the kind of creepy, far-too-realistic animatronics which I could easily imagine killing me in my sleep. Their movements were way too authentic with blinking and head nodding and some even stood up and sat down. That's the stuff of horror movies right there. Okay, quick summary of his life (look him up if you want more detail). The Swami was born in 1781 and died in 1830. He first proved his powers when he saw fishermen with dead fish in their nets. He brought the fish back to life and demanded that the fishermen never harm another living creature. When he was fairly young he ran away to study yoga, mastered it, settled down in some village, and gained a bunch of followers with whom he did philanthropic deeds the rest of his life.

At least we have proof that we were there... 

I don't care that Akshardham is not old- actually, it is certainly a modern marvel. It was built by about 10,000 architects and artists in five years and I don't even want to know how much it cost. The architecture is easily some of the most beautiful my eyes have beheld- detailed animals adorning every wall, golden statues inside the main temple (which also smells a bit like feet, since you have to remove your shoes prior to entry), paintings of the Swami... everything was immaculate. Of course, as I mentioned early, none of us had our cameras which truly pained us the whole time. Every single time we turned our heads we saw another beautiful, photo-worthy image. There was one area where they took a picture of you in front of the temple, but that just wasn't quite the same.

When we returned to the cab, the driver was still there along with our valuables. What a relief!

Inside the temple

Bubbles

Some of the things that kids find entertaining truly astonish me. When the three-year-old girl went mental at the suggestion that we bring bubbles to the park, I admit I found it a bit of a head-scratcher. What is so exciting about soapy orbs floating along the air unless they contain Glinda the Good Witch from The Wizard of Oz? However, the bubble-blowing session that lasted easily an hour ended up not only provoking giggle fit upon giggle fit from the little girl, but I actually found myself entertained as well. The simplicity with which children find amusement and happiness is such an enviable trait. I wish I could be a carefree little kid chasing bubbles barefoot in the grass trying to pop them.

She also insisted on sharing "facts" about bubbles with me. For example, according to her, a group of bubbles can either be referred to as a "crop of bubbles" or a "flutter of bubbles." So, every time bubble after bubble streamed from my bubble wand, she would jump up and down and squeal shouting "a flutter! A flutter!" Fine, I admit, it was quite precious. Maybe in depth bubble studies are in her future.

Then of course came the most comical moment of the bubble-blowing at the park. After I had pretty much mastered my bubble-blowing skills, the little girl turns to me and said "you know, you're really good at blowing." Wow. Even if I were a professional porn star I would have been offended by that comment. Then, of course, all of the teasing and innuendos cascaded forth from the mouth of the other babysitter at the park who fell into a crippling fit of laughter after the little girl's remark. For instance, "yeah Marisa, your mouth must get tired from all that blowing," or "try blowing a bit more gentle." Blah blah, we are all so mature.

Burpees

Whoever invented the burpee is evil, and whoever decided to incorporate them into a yoga class is more evil still. If you don't know what a burpee is, I am truly happy for you. You should never give them a fleeting thought except while reading this blog. Just for the sake of understanding this blog, I will explain: a burpee is a horrid exercise move involving squatting down, kicking back into a high plank, kicking forward between your hands, jumping up off of the ground, and then doing it over and over again until your heart is pounding and you hate your drill sergeant of a fitness instructor. Every time a yoga instructor makes us practitioners do burpees in "yoga with weights" class, I vow never to return to their class. Well, I certainly won't return to yesterday's class after not only doing burpees and around 60 pushups (yes, I did the vast majority on my knees), but doing a slightly altered version of a burpee called a "man-maker" (how sexist... just kidding- this move would have made a man out of Mulan after doing just one and eliminated the best song in the movie). Actually, the man-maker was slightly worse. Please see the video below. (I find it ironic that every image of "man-makers" on Google images was of a woman- the videos featured men, however...)

In what universe is this fun?

I bet if I took that class even once a week I would be ripped to the point people would label me a steroid abuser. I'm not sure I want to be that ripped, especially if it means doing the kind of exercises that make me extremely thrilled not to be in a branch of the military. I am ready to go make and send thousands of care packages for everyone who is, just to thank them for all the burpees they must have done during boot camp, and probably still do as part of their daily fitness routines. During this self-imposed 30-day-in-a-row workout challenge which I am about 16 days into, I am going to stick to what I know and love. Hot yoga balanced with running so I can get ready for me 10k. Burpees, I simply don't need or want you in my life. Sorry. 

Yoga Discrepancies

All the instructors worldwide of every type of yoga need to have a conference to get on the same page and save us poor practitioners from endless hassle. I began my yoga journey as a Bikram yoga addict thinking there was no better yoga workout on the face of the earth. The instructors gave me personal adjustments for a year to the point I felt I had mastered some of the postures. Then, when I realized how expensive Bikram memberships are, a fact I had not realized as I was working at a studio thus receiving free classes, I switched over to doing hot yoga, which is essentially the same thing without paying Bikram to use his name. Also, the classes are generally 15 to 30 minutes shorter which is nice considering the 1 hour 30-minute length of Bikram sessions.

So, here I was, thinking I had mastered the stance-distance of my triangle pose, only to be told by some pretentious, self-righteous hot yoga instructor that my legs were too close together in "extended side-angle." First of all, can we all agree that the postures that are the EXACT same should at least have the exact same name? Confused is not the best mind state in yoga, and telling me to do "extended side-angle" when I have had the posture name of "triangle" ingrained into my mind puts me in exactly that state. So Bikram's "triangle" is also known as "hot-style triangle" which is also known as "extended side-angle" which is also known as "trikonasana." "Dancer's pose" is also known as "standing bow-pulling pose" or just "standing bow." "Fixed firm pose" is also known as "supta virasana" which is also known as "reclining hero pose" and a slight variation of the pose is "sleeping diamond." That is just a few of the many examples. I want to meet the person/people in charge of creating all of these confusing names and slug them in the face.

This posture and the one below have the same name. WHY??

I just want all yoga instructors to sit at the world's largest conference table and decide once and for all the proper placement of one's hands on their feet during camel pose, or, ustrasana. For the entire time during which I had practiced yoga up until taking a course in India, I was told to bend back and grab a hold of my heels with my hands. The instructor in India thought this was absurd and told me to lie my palms flat on my feet. Now I am just confused. I don't know who to believe anymore! I guess it makes sense how all of this craziness came about- yoga postures have been taught and retaught so many times that it has become like a big game of telephone. Still, it drives me nuts!

The flat-hand method

The heel-grab method

An Afternoon in Japan

I will no longer blame any acquired food poisoning on my Delhi fast food outing, but rather on the mystery sushi I just shoveled down here in Japan. I figured hey, when is the next time I will be in Japan and able to sample their famous sushi? Since I cannot give a definite answer to that question, I decided to seize the opportunity. I wanted to go with the salmon roll after perusing the menu, since it seemed like one of the safer choices, but they were out of that one so I selected the "mix roll," which is probably the least safe option. i could not tell if the main component of the roll was tofu, a block of artificially colored cheese, or some sort of fish I could not identify. The other three parts making up the mixture in the middle looked like cucumber, caramelized onion (but potentially another sort of mystery fish), and either legitimate or imitation crab. Heck, for all I know I could have just downed some sort of endangered bottom-feeder. I hope not, because I don't need or want PETA hassling me. 

I did not think you could fall in love with a country just based on its toilets. Boy, was I wrong. Just one time plopping my bare bum onto those luxurious, heated seats with a built in bidet, deodorizer, flushing music made me never want to use another toilet again. It was especially fantastic after experiencing toilets in India, where I was thrilled if it wasn't a squatter.

Also, the Japanese airport has Hello Kitty planes and an oragami museum. Need I say more to intrigue my readers? I mean, the Hello Kitty plane alone is enough to demonstrate the magic of Japan. I guess I didn't expect any less from the land that created the Zelda video games and the Miyazaki films.

English Variations

Spending a good chunk of time with Australians, an Irishman, a Scotsman, two New Zealanders, a Canadian and two British girls certainly had an impact on my vocabulary. It amazes me how many different terms make their way into variations of English around the world. Here is a sample of how my dialogue has changed after my time with volunteers from other English-speaking countries:

Around half three this arvo, I awoke from a wee nap to discover it was chilly out. I wanted to go for a walk so I threw on a jumper, my gumboots and a tuk. I did not realize there were heaps of bugs outside until I found mossy bites all over my hands and feet. The sun came out the next day so I had to buy some new sunnies. After shopping, I walked about 5 kilometers to the school to teach maths and English. The kids are good at writing, but they have trouble remembering to put full stops at the ends of their sentences. Some proper notebooks and supplies would be helpful, too. Since the kids have been behaving well for over a fortnight consistently, I asked if they would be keen to have me bring in biscuits or sweets tomorrow. They went mental! I reckon it is a good idea to reward them.

Ok, my American readers are probably a bit confused by those, so here is a little American English to Other Types of English Dictionary:

Half three: three thirty (Irish, Scottish, British)
Arvo: afternoon (Australians and New Zealanders)
Wee: little (mainly heard it from the New Zealanders)
Jumper: sweater (basically every English-speaking country aside from the US)
Gumboots: rain boots or Wellies (Australians and New Zealanders)
Tuk: beanie (Canadians)
Heaps: lots of, used commonly by Australians
Mossy bites: mosquito bites (Australians)
Sunnies: sun glasses (Australians and New Zealanders)
Kilometer: a measure of distance used by everyone but the USA
Maths: math, every other English-speaking country likes to add the S on the end
Full stops: periods (every other English-speaking country) As Maree from New Zealand pointed out, a period is a menstrual cycle. Lovely.
Proper: legit
Fortnight: two weeks
Keen: interested
Biscuits: cookies
Sweets: candy
Mental: crazy
Reckon: suppose

Okay, now we can translate my narration back to American English as I would have before adapting to my surroundings and picking up the various terms:

Around 3:30 this afternoon, I awoke from a little nap to discover it was chilly out. I wanted to go for a walk so I threw on a sweater, rain boots and a beanie. I did not realize there were lots of bugs outside until I found mosquito bites all over my hands and feet. The sun came out the next day so I had to buy some new sunglasses. After shopping, I walked about 3 miles to the school to teach math and English. The kids are good at writing, but they have trouble remembering to put periods at the ends of their sentences. Some legitimate notebooks and supplies would be helpful, too. Since the kids have been behaving for two weeks consistently, I asked if they would be interested in me bringing in cookies and candy tomorrow. They went crazy! I suppose it is a good idea to reward them.