Burpees

Whoever invented the burpee is evil, and whoever decided to incorporate them into a yoga class is more evil still. If you don't know what a burpee is, I am truly happy for you. You should never give them a fleeting thought except while reading this blog. Just for the sake of understanding this blog, I will explain: a burpee is a horrid exercise move involving squatting down, kicking back into a high plank, kicking forward between your hands, jumping up off of the ground, and then doing it over and over again until your heart is pounding and you hate your drill sergeant of a fitness instructor. Every time a yoga instructor makes us practitioners do burpees in "yoga with weights" class, I vow never to return to their class. Well, I certainly won't return to yesterday's class after not only doing burpees and around 60 pushups (yes, I did the vast majority on my knees), but doing a slightly altered version of a burpee called a "man-maker" (how sexist... just kidding- this move would have made a man out of Mulan after doing just one and eliminated the best song in the movie). Actually, the man-maker was slightly worse. Please see the video below. (I find it ironic that every image of "man-makers" on Google images was of a woman- the videos featured men, however...)

In what universe is this fun?

I bet if I took that class even once a week I would be ripped to the point people would label me a steroid abuser. I'm not sure I want to be that ripped, especially if it means doing the kind of exercises that make me extremely thrilled not to be in a branch of the military. I am ready to go make and send thousands of care packages for everyone who is, just to thank them for all the burpees they must have done during boot camp, and probably still do as part of their daily fitness routines. During this self-imposed 30-day-in-a-row workout challenge which I am about 16 days into, I am going to stick to what I know and love. Hot yoga balanced with running so I can get ready for me 10k. Burpees, I simply don't need or want you in my life. Sorry.