Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Reason for the Economy in Shambles

Today, I officially discovered the reason behind all of our economic turmoil. There is one evil culprit which led to the economic wounds from which we are only slightly beginning to heal. You can't peg this one on terrorists, any other country in the world or consumers getting bitten by the frugal bug. The culprit is *drum roll*... self check-out lanes.

Yes! I am a genius. No one saw that coming. But when I was in King Soopers buying groceries today, it became oh so clear that all of our economic woes can be blamed on these machines which I am determined are out to take over the world. They must be stopped!

Sure, they seem so convenient for our D.I.Y-obsessed society. They allow consumers to avoid making awkward small talk with cashiers and baggers. They allow us to check that every item is being rung up properly, and allow us to bag our own groceries placing eggs (well, not in my case now that I am trying this vegan thing) where they won't break and bread where it will not be smooshed.

But then look at the other side of the argument- what are these machines turning us into? Socially inept slaves. When we meander to the self check lane, we are putting ourselves up to doing the job of not just one but two people. We make ourselves a bagger and a checker all at once without seeing a dime when pay day rolls around. And as far as chatting it up with the store employees, we should be so lucky that we are forced to do so. What better practice in socializing, and the stories that they tell are just as priceless as your personal grocery-bagging job. So think about it... what is this world coming to?

But I am just as guilty as everyone else- I kind of love the self check lane...

Have you ever seen someone so happy to have slavery self-inflicted upon them? I sure haven't.

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