Monday, April 23, 2012

Baby's First Card

While purusing the card selection at Target, I couldn't help but notice that there is a specific card for "baby's first (insert special occasion here". This seems silly for a plethora of reasons. First of all, as the card is read to its recipient baby, he/she will have no reaction whatsoever to the card and its contents save for perhaps a couple of indecipherable noises or spitting up. Perhaps "baby's first" cards make sense if the parents save the card for when the child has reached an age where they can appreciate it. However, if they simply dispose of these cards, what is the point of buying them? That is 2.95 (sometimes more, cards these days seem more overpriced than Spanish saffron) not very well spent.

Cards these days also are extremely over-specific. I am a firm believer that card companies are inventing new holidays just for the hell of it to up their annual earnings. I can just see those big wig card company folks sitting around one of those conference tables laughing maniacally and rubbing their pudgy hands together as they decide to start making cards which celebrate blue whale day. Though I guess that would make PETA happy. I also visualize these greeting card conspirators wearing Bugsy-Malone style pinstripe suits, just in case you wanted futher clarification of just how I was imagining them.

Let's face it- as Americans, we are spoiled with far too many choices. I almost wish that there would be just one card option for us to pick. It should not have to be so complicating- balloons on the front, Happy Birthday inside. Bam. Simplicity at its best. I have lost hours of my life attempting to select the perfect card. They have gotten far too specific with subsections of subsections for each holiday. To grandfather from granddaughter. To great aunt from great nephew. I would not be surprised if they start introducing categories like "to random woman from creepy stalker" or "to second cousin twice removed". When will this insanity end?

I am pretty sure that this extremely messy baby with an awkward tuft of blonde hair does not care about this card.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Climbing Forever

Hey readers. Or reader. Or an empty, readerless void. I am stuck at home, because Corona-tine (doesn't have too great of a ring to it, ...