Sunday, June 10, 2012

Ye Olde Blogge Poste

I learned today at the Renaissance Festival just how poorly versed I am in old English. My best defense to combat my lack of knowledge was to add "ye olde" in front of everything. It would have been substantially easier if I were writing in old English, in which case you simply have to spell things in ways that do not make any sense to us 21st century folk. For example, spelling "shop" like "shoppe" and "fried" like "fryed". The fact that I would have any need at all to spell "fried" in a Renaissance context seems a bit strange. Yet with ye olde fryed pickles, fryed macaroni and cheese on a stick and sweet potato fryes (did they even have sweet potatoes back then?) intermigling with steak on a stake and frozen cheesecake on a stick (hm yes, very much from the Renaissance), it seemed to be the most common word appearing on ye olde shoppe signs.

Aside from my inability to use old English, I also managed to piss off PETA. Well, they would be pissed if they knew about my doings today. How, you may ask? Let me count the ways...

1) I rode an elephant- I believe that using any animal as a mode of transportation at all is frowned upon by these animal loving extremists, and perhaps the fact that an elephant is somewhat exotic makes it worse. I am not too on the up and up with PETA's opinions on which, if any animal is ok to ride and which are the least acceptable to use in lieu of cars.

2) I rode a camel- I think that using two animals as modes of transportation in one day qualifies as some sort of mega offense in the eyes of PETA. Come on, think of all the gas I kept out of the atmosphere while riding those animals!

3) I observed a show featuring a leopard, an ocelot, a black leopard, a leopard cub and a white tiger performing on stage. PETA would probably send out a group of assassins to take me down while I sleep if they found out that I witnessed that and even enjoyed seeing those lovely cats.

In the defense of the festival, I can attest that the animals were all treated kindly. There were elephants who would take shifts giving rides and then get a shift to rest. They were given hay the entire time they were in the arena.

The camels had the same situation. One resting while one took a short shift giving rides.

I did feel pretty bad for the cats. Their trainer essentially treated them like house pets and they just did not seem to have the best enclosure area going on...

PART TWO of Renaissance Fair 2012 recap to appear in a fort night! And by that I mean most likely tomorrow...

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